7th Heaven
Little White Lies, Part I

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Sara M: C- | Grade It Now!
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Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Martin's lacing up after baseball practice. He asks Mac why everyone on the team is looking at him; Mac smirks that he informed them all that Martin wasn't getting any. And that Martin is a virgin. I guess he threw that last piece of information out there just for fun. Mac's not so bad.

Back at the police station, Lucy's looking for Roxanne. Officer Crewmember's Son says he's pretty sure she's taking the detective's test.

Mac and Martin meet up with Asslee and Pam. They agree to meet up for dinner, and Mac and Pam take off. Asslee asks "what's up" between him and Mac. Martin tells her that everyone in school assumed that he and Asslee were "together." "We are together," Asslee says, grinning. Martin's all, no, "together together." Asslee is stumped. So Martin spells it out for her, then quickly says that everyone now knows that they aren't, so it's okay. Asslee can't believe that Martin would discuss their non-sex life with creepy Mac. She takes a bunch of noisy breaths as she tells Martin that this has made her "very uncomfortable and upset." Well, don't be such a prude, then. Martin doesn't understand why she's mad at him when this is all Mac's fault. I don't either.

Chandler and Jeffrey walk into the pool hall and ask the bartender if there's a woman looking for them. Bartender's all, "Yeah, there's a totally hot girl looking for you, and all the guys are jealous." He points out a girl who's wearing 7th Heaven's definition of skanky attire. Jeffrey ogles her and approves, while Chandler's jaw drops. He tells Jeffrey to wait at the bar -- which is the ideal place to put your children unattended, as I hear that bartenders make excellent baby-sitters, you idiot -- and walks over to girl who's threatening to steal Roxanne's crown of Town WHORE. Before Chandler can properly introduce himself, she's yelling at him for being late. Chandler tries once more to introduce himself, to which Skanko says that she "assumed" that he was Chandler already. "Well, you know what…they say when you assume: you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me.'" Oh, man: first, Jeremy London gets arrested for the horrific crime of vandalizing a phone, and now he's swearing on a family show! It's Buffalo for you, young man! Although I shouldn't really call him "young," seeing as Jeremy London is almost ten years older than me and looks almost twice that, contrary to Chandler's assertion that he's twenty-five. Suddenly, Chandler decides that he "gets it," and that it was real nice of RevCam to get him a girlfriend and all, but he really wants a tutor. Skanko picks up her no-doubt-revealing denim jacket and leaves in a huff. Jeffrey's pissed.

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7th Heaven

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