Martin calls Asslee. She answers the phone, only to hang up on him. Asslee's phone rings again, but this time it's Simon. He's standing outside a "Zuggler's Gas," halfway through his road trip back to Glenoak, and he's afraid something's wrong with Asslee. Besides her scary doll-hair and inability to speak with any feeling, that is. Asslee tells him not to worry, and that she has to go see Martin. Then she hangs up on him.
RevCam asks Martin what's wrong. Martin says that Asslee won't talk to him. "I'll talk to you!" RevCam says, sounding just a little too eager. Martin asks if Simon has been talking to Asslee. RevCam knows nothing, because he really hasn't spoken to Simon since he dropped him off at the bus station in November, has he? Martin takes off.
RevCam runs into Matt in the hall and asks him why he skipped church. Was it because he committed the sin of adultery and is now afraid to "face God"? Matt tells RevCam he doesn't have time to talk to him, because he has a date. With Heather. RevCam tries to butt in, and Matt tells him to stay out of this: this is Matt's life, Matt's marriage, and Matt's business. RevCam looks sad, but maybe if he had raised Matt to not marry someone after only knowing her for a day just so he could get laid, this wouldn't be happening.
Maria's packing to go home because, as she explains to Ruthie, Peter doesn't like her and she doesn't want to cause any more problems. I can't believe I'm still being subjected to this subplot.
Matt answers the phone. Whoops! It's PC. She needs to speak to RevCam, but Matt wants to know if she's upset about "last night," like it's unreasonable for PC to be a little peeved that her husband spent the entire night with an ex-girlfriend. PC says she's happy that Matt at least had the decency to wait "almost" a day before he started cheating on her. Except that her voice cracks when she says "cheating" so it sounds more like "chi-ing," and that Matt and Heather spent the night learning martial arts. Matt gets defensive and says that he wasn't cheating on her. PC whines that she thought they were going to try to keep their marriage together (although how she expected this to happen when she was also sending him back to Glenoak for a summer, I don't know), and says that Matt isn't doing a very good job of it. Matt says he can't talk to PC when she's "like this." Like what? Speaking in a reasonable tone, saying some very reasonable things about a serious subject that warrants further discussion? I guess the Camden men like their women hysterical and crazy. ["Good thing, too." -- Sars] PC tells Matt to put RevCam on the phone, and to tell Heather that she says hi. Matt gets all pissy and hands the phone off the RevCam. RevCam asks if PC wants to talk about Matt. PC says she actually wants to talk about Mary. Disappointment spreads over RevCam's face, followed by concern when PC says that she's not supposed to tell him anything, but