Asslee sits next to her bed and sulks. Her dad comes in and asks her if she's upset about Martin and the "sex thing," which he found out about when he and Martin had lunch. Poor Asslee's dad has got to be sick of hearing about his daughter's sex life by now. Or maybe not, since he tells Asslee to go talk to Martin, because he really hasn't done anything wrong except having a friend who wasn't very mature. Except he pronounced it "mah-toor." Asslee's dad says he has the "idear" that Martin isn't "hare-ass-ing" Asslee, but that she's avoiding him because Simon's coming back to town.
Roxanne and Lucy make dinner and talk about Roxanne's big career move. Roxanne says that now that the war's over (um, not), she's going to be an MP to help the Iraqi people rebuild their country. For example, they can build pyramids out of Iraqi prisoners to house civilians whose homes where destroyed. And maybe I shouldn't have said that, but come on. It's pretty damn funny to watch Brenda's season-long pro-military propaganda train derail right in the middle of the season finale. Here's Lucy's brilliant contribution to the discussion: "Iraq, Iraq? The Iraq next to Iran, like, over in the Middle East, that Iraq?" No, the Iraq in Maine, you fucking idiot. Roxanne says she'll be leaving for basic training next week. Lucy makes yet another comment that shows off her tremendous intellect: "You do know that President Bush is commander-in-chief of the armed forces -- that includes the army?" Roxanne says she may not agree with Bush's politics or the war, but this isn't about that: it's about doing something meaningful with her life. I would have a different opinion on the matter, but as long as this allows Rachel Blanchard to leave this show and move on to something better, I'm all for it.
Martin enters, looking dour. Lucy asks him if they can expect Asslee for dinner tonight. "Asslee who?" Martin asks, which is a question I would have expected Lucy to say after her previous dumbass comments in this scene. Martin says he doesn't want to talk to Asslee, except that he does. "Love stinks," says Martin, and excuse me, but that was the titular line from the Season Four finale. You're supposed to say something like, "It's no LITTLE WHITE LIE that I love Asslee!" Roxanne asks Martin if he's okay. "Do I look okay?" snots Martin. Well, Martin, I'd have to say that, besides those area rugs you have for eyebrows, you do. Maybe you should try actually acting upset.