Matt meets Heather at the pool hall. He tells her about Mary being in labor, and Heather asks why she doesn't want any family members there. "Well, she's Mary," Matt answers. Which makes sense, because being Mary means you have a crappy overbearing psycho family. Anyway, he'll be going back to New York later tonight, to see Mary's baby, and also his wife. He doesn't want to divorce her after all. Heather says that's okay. She knows how painful divorces are and wouldn't wish one on him. Matt tells Heather he does love her, and Heather says she loves him back. So why didn't Matt just marry her in the first place? Matt kisses Heather on the cheek and leaves. Bye, Heather! See you in next year's series (please, please, please) finale, when the same exact storyline occurs!
Kevin comes home to tell Lucy that dinner's ready. They talk about Roxanne; Lucy's not okay with her going to Iraq, but there's nothing she can do about it. If Rachel Blanchard wants to act in a project that's actually well-written and well-shot, Lucy certainly can't stop her. Kevin asks if anything else is bothering Lucy. Of course there is. She wants a baby. Kevin repeats his season-long mantra about how they will have a baby when it's the right time. But Lucy wants one now. She'll finish school, even with a baby. And she's ready for a baby, even though she acts like one herself most of the time. Kevin says she might be ready, but nothing else is. They don't even have a house. Lucy says they can get one easily with their maverick real estate skills . And anyway, she doesn't think it's prudent for her to graduate school and start her "career," only to have to stop it, raise kids, and then start it again. And lastly, she has an "overwhelming desire" to have a baby. This causes Kevin to smirk and agree that they can have a baby, but they have to really commit to it -- no "turning back" like they did last time. A thought suddenly occurs to Kevin, and he asks Lucy if she isn't saying all this because she's already pregnant. Lucy smirks liplessly and says that she totally is. Kevin passes out. I did, too. Remember that season when Annie was all pregnant and hormonal and crazy? Yeah, Season Nine promises to be all that and so much more. If you need me, I'll be over in the corner, curled in a fetal position and rocking back and forth.
Matt comes home to find a wife in his bedroom. They decide to stay together, but who cares? Matt isn't on the show anymore. Would it have been so much to ask the writers to limit the season finale to storylines about characters who actually appear regularly? Then maybe every scene in this episode wouldn't have had an average running time of two minutes and five seconds. On the other hand, I guess watching Matt and PC is better than watching the Maria-Ruthie-Peter non-love triangle.