7th Heaven
Little White Lies, Part II

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Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Lies, Lies, Lies, Yeah!

Oh, good -- it's Kevin and Lucy in all their marital bliss. Lucy childishly tells Kevin that she's going to church with her family, and she intends to spend the rest of the day with them, too. Kevin's all, "Fine, whatever," trying to conceal how happy the prospect of a day without his naggy wife makes him.

A sympathetic nurse helps a panicky Carlos put on his surgical gown. He's starting to regret not having his family around for this.

Seventh Heaven,
I won't have to see their crappy faces,
For a whole summer.
Seventh Heaven,
Except in some classic recaps,
which will be a bummer.
Two characters will goooo!
By end of tonight.
Send Ruthie to Mexicooooo!
And make Season Nine bright.
Seventh Heaven.
MMMMMMMMMMMM! Seeeeeventh Heaven.
[Happy barks, guitar solo, angelic voices]

It's the last Opening Credits Timewaster of the season, and they're gonna make it count: Annie dials a phone number, lets it ring, then hangs up. She crosses out a name in her little black book, then dials another number, lets it ring, and hangs up. But she isn't going through her daily ritual of crank-calling the neighbors to alleviate her boredom; when RevCam asks, Annie says she's been trying to call Mary and Carlos on all their phones but she isn't getting an answer. She's concerned, as you can see by the way the corners of her mouth have turned down at an almost ninety-degree angle. RevCam tells her to keep calling.

Peter reads the Sunday funnies and tries to not die laughing at the hee-larious Family Circus. You see, the whole family was at church, and then Dolly mixed up a word to comedic effect and Angel Grandpa looked down on them all from Heaven where he was playing golf with some famous dead people. Do you think Brenda had to buy a second refrigerator to accommodate her perpetually-growing enormous of ripped-from-the-paper panels of Family Circus? I bet she does. And she sticks them all on her fridge with magnets that say things like "World's Best Mom!!!" and "I'm a SUPER kid!!!" Paris comes home and tells Peter that he just missed a good sermon. I guess she went to a different church this week. Also, Peter? Your hair is whiter than my granddad's. My granddad is eighty years old. Please stop dyeing your hair. Paris tells Peter that she knows he's faking sick, and he better find someone to talk to about it. But not her, because she leaves. Paris Petrowski: Mother of the Year.

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7th Heaven

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