Mary's on her bed, wiggling along to "Love Shack." She's mouthing words, but they aren't the words to the song. She's doing that Bangles "Walk Like An Egyptian" thing, and then various dances from the sixties. Ruthie appears in the doorway and gawks admiringly. She wishes aloud that she could dance like Mary. They have a sisterly chat. Ruthie begs Mary to do something with her this weekend. Mary promises to bring home a pizza right after her shift's over at midnight. The two of them will have a sleepover in Ruthie's room. Ruthie gets unwarrantedly happy about this plan and hugs Mary. Then her carpool shows up and she runs out the door, leaving Mary smiling at nothing.

Next comes a scene that's almost funny. See how I admitted that -- that it was almost funny? That's how fair and unbiased I am. You might think, from reading some of the e-mails that have been sent to Mighty Big TV lately, that Cate and I are heartless old harpies who hate everything good. You might think that we want to stop the youth of North America from learning the morals 7th Heaven has to offer. You might even think that we're anti-family. Well, to you who have written in to complain, I say this: Get over it. And quit hinting that our recaps have the power to get the show cancelled. I mean...yes, it does turn me on to imagine using my recaps for such selfish ends. I'll have you know, however, that if my writing did have that sort of effect on television executives, I wouldn't waste it on something as bland as canceling 7th Heaven. No way, buddy. I would instead ridicule that Emile guy from the Food Network and fill up his air time with reruns of Iron Chef. There'd be a whole new television world order. Believe you me.