7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | 416 USERS: C+
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Losers

At the CamPound, Annie's asking Simon the rating of the movie he's taking Lulu to see. Simon says PG-13. So let me get this straight -- she doesn't mind him referring to a classmate as "a hot babe," but she'd hate for him to see any hot babes in action on the big screen. Is that it? Matt hasn't shown up yet. RevCam walks in and carps about Matt ditching his own dad to double date with Simon. "I'm paying him," says Simple Simon as he exits. RevCam shuts up. Annie asks who he's playing pool with, and he has to tell her that he couldn't find anyone to go with him. "Did you call the new priest from the little Catholic church?" she says. That cracks me up. Not only does she expect him to make friends with the other men of the cloth in town, but the writers also feel the need to point out that it's a "little" Catholic church. RevCam didn't invite him because he didn't feel like being on his best behavior. "You know what I mean -- the guy's new in town and he's a...priest," says Eric. Annie asks about Rabbi Stein and "the good-looking single guy" that took over some other little church. RevCam says he'll shoot some pool alone. (Is that what the kids...?) He wants to relax, not worry about being on his best religious behavior. Annie pities him and offers to go along. He suggests that she meet him at the pool hall after her meeting. She gets all happy, because apparently she can't play pool worth jack and he never wants to play it with her. Maybe they could go to a karaoke bar instead. I guess their town's pretty small, though.

Lucy comes downstairs with the twins dripping off her arms and gigantic rollers in the top of her head. She tells her parents that her lab partner in her family class is coming over to help her baby-sit. RevCam scratches his head and says, "Uh, huh, uh, what's lab in Family Class -- sex?" Yes, you fucking idiot, it's sex. You're paying taxes so that the local public school can teach your daughter to have sex. After that, they'll tutor her in gay sex. Then she'll learn how to perform bestiality. THEN -- hold on to your Republican ticket! -- they'll teach her about EVOLUTION. Shut up, RevCam. Lucy explains that she and lab boy have to pretend they're married for twenty-four hours. Rev asks if Lab Boy's sleeping over. Lucy says it's twenty-four hours total, not consecutive. "But thanks for having faith in me," she adds sarcastically. Lucy, honey, it'd be okay if he were a hot babe and you did it in the back of Matt's car after a PG-13 movie. Your daddy just doesn't want the neighbors to see your bloody sheets on the clothesline. RevCam questions Lucy's ability to watch the twins, Ruthie, the egg, and the date all at once. She reassures him and not-comically runs off to catch the crawling twins. RevCam finds Ruthie ready for bed. She's catching some zees (or zeds) now so she'll be wide-awake for her pizza party with Mary at midnight.

7th Heaven

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