7th Heaven
Losers

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Losers

This episode begins with RevCam and Annie in the kitchen. Annie declares that Eric is in need of a night off. He confirms this. He wants to "commune with a little male energy." He wants to "walk the walk and talk the talk." Eric asks about StuporMom's plans. She's meeting her professor at 7 PM to get his approval for her paper topic. RevCam is a bit suspicious because it's Friday night, but she assures him it's all decent. This set-up conversation between the CamRents is interspersed with recycled clips of the twins in their high chairs.

Annie's saying that Simon or Lucy can watch the twins and Ruthie that evening, just as the two proposed babysitters come down the stairs. Yes, loyal viewers -- it's another episode beginning with a morning in the Camdens' kitchen, with the twins shackled down and the CamSpawn stomping down to be disrespectful, one by one. Simon informs Annie that he can't baby-sit because he has a possible date with Lulu, a.k.a. Llewellyn Olmeyer, a.k.a. "the hottest babe in the sophomore class," that night. Helpfully nosy Lucy points out that Lulu is one of RevCam's parishioners. RevCam asks when Lulu became "hot." Annie just stands there smirking. I hope that when I'm her age, I don't have to undergo that operation. You know -- the one that removes the part of your brain that keeps you from letting your son act like a dog. Annie asks where Simon's going. "Wherever Lulu will let me take her!" barks Simon. So that's what the kids are calling it...oh, forget it. Annie points out that Simon has no access to a car. Simon says he'll double date with someone. Annie won't let him double date with a boy she doesn't know. Eyebrows rise all around. Lucy offers to watch the little kids, earning a kiss on the head from her dad.

Ruthie walks in for her first attempt at preciousness of the hour. She wants to know why Mary's car's in the driveway -- is it because she "got fired again?" Ruthie's wearing her little private school uniform. It occurs to me that her new school is named after a Roosevelt, just like her old school. I realize that this is to save money on establishing shots. Ruthie is still talking. Simon and Lucy exit.

Mary comes down the stairs in a lilac thermal knit lounge set with a mysterious pink stain on the crotch. "What's up?" she says. RevCam asks if it's her day off. She hedges questions about the curtailing of her pool hall job and explains that she works at Pete's Pizza now. She didn't like working day shifts, she says. She likes the nightlife. She likes to boogie. I wonder how she knows to quote that old disco song. I imagine RevCam dancing around to it with his broomstick and shudder violently. Mary trudges back up to her room with a cup of coffee. Ruthie shakes her head and asks the camera, "Is it me or is she starting to spin?" I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. RevCam and Annie agree with Ruthie and reiterate that they need time off from their seven brats. They kiss audibly as the Lighthearted Acoustic Guitar plays us into the opening theme, which is starting to have a Pavlovian effect on my ulcer at this point in my recapping career.

Mary's on her bed, wiggling along to "Love Shack." She's mouthing words, but they aren't the words to the song. She's doing that Bangles "Walk Like An Egyptian" thing, and then various dances from the sixties. Ruthie appears in the doorway and gawks admiringly. She wishes aloud that she could dance like Mary. They have a sisterly chat. Ruthie begs Mary to do something with her this weekend. Mary promises to bring home a pizza right after her shift's over at midnight. The two of them will have a sleepover in Ruthie's room. Ruthie gets unwarrantedly happy about this plan and hugs Mary. Then her carpool shows up and she runs out the door, leaving Mary smiling at nothing.

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7th Heaven

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