Next comes a scene that's almost funny. See how I admitted that -- that it was almost funny? That's how fair and unbiased I am. You might think, from reading some of the e-mails that have been sent to Mighty Big TV lately, that Cate and I are heartless old harpies who hate everything good. You might think that we want to stop the youth of North America from learning the morals 7th Heaven has to offer. You might even think that we're anti-family. Well, to you who have written in to complain, I say this: Get over it. And quit hinting that our recaps have the power to get the show cancelled. I mean...yes, it does turn me on to imagine using my recaps for such selfish ends. I'll have you know, however, that if my writing did have that sort of effect on television executives, I wouldn't waste it on something as bland as canceling 7th Heaven. No way, buddy. I would instead ridicule that Emile guy from the Food Network and fill up his air time with reruns of Iron Chef. There'd be a whole new television world order. Believe you me.
So, yeah, like I was saying, the next scene's almost funny. Eric calls up some guy named Lou and invites him to play pool. "By ourselves?" asks Lou. RevCam suggests that Lou bring some of the guys. "What guys?" asks Lou. "I don't know...some of the church guys," says Rev. "What church guys?" asks Lou. "I don't know...the guys...who come to church," says Eric the sad sack. Meanwhile, Lou's wife is eavesdropping and squinting suspiciously. Lou says that he has plans with her. Eric hangs up, and Lou explains to his wife what Eric wanted. "I'm never quite comfortable with Eric on a social level," Lou explains, and then the scene stops being funny. "I'm always afraid I'm gonna slip up and curse or something," he continues. Lou's wife opines that RevCam is trouble, because he deals with it all the time and it therefore just comes to him. Okay, Mrs. Spacely. Mr. Spacely won't hang out with Reverend Jetson tonight. Calm down.
RevCam's flipping through his Rolodex, unable to hook up with any of his crew. He product-places some Altoids, then calls Matt at work. Matt's paged to the phone while a front-desk droid looks on. Matt is surprised that his dad's asking him to play pool that night. He makes a big production out of it, thinking someone in the family must be in trouble. Then he casts aspersions on StuporMom's plan to meet with her professor. The PA speaker announces that Matt has a call on line six. Matt of course disconnects his own father and takes the other call, which is from Simon. Simon offers Matt twenty dollars to double date and basically chauffeur Simon and Lulu to the movies. Matt is reluctant, asking if there'll be backseat making-out. Simon offers him thirty. There's another call for Matt, this time from Lucy. The chick at the front desk is giving him dirty looks. Matt freaks out in that unfunny way of his, yelling that he's going to lose his job. Lucy asks if he can baby-sit that evening. She has a "date" with her lab partner from her "family class." Check out what Matt says: "Lab partner in a family class? Huh...What's the lab -- sex?" The hell? Was that some weak attempt at a rank on sex education programs? Maybe the right-wing coalition that paid for that line could chip in for some better writers. Lucy says that she and Lab Boy have to pretend that an egg is their baby for their homework. So it's not actually a date, you see. Lucy was just trying to put another notch in her lip gloss case. Matt refuses to baby-sit the twins for her. He hangs up on his sister, and some guy hands him a bedpan. ["Wow. Holy meta-statement on the show, Batman!" -- Sars]