7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | 1 USERS: A+

Lucy comes downstairs with the twins dripping off her arms and gigantic rollers in the top of her head. She tells her parents that her lab partner in her family class is coming over to help her baby-sit. RevCam scratches his head and says, "Uh, huh, uh, what's lab in Family Class -- sex?" Yes, you fucking idiot, it's sex. You're paying taxes so that the local public school can teach your daughter to have sex. After that, they'll tutor her in gay sex. Then she'll learn how to perform bestiality. THEN -- hold on to your Republican ticket! -- they'll teach her about EVOLUTION. Shut up, RevCam. Lucy explains that she and lab boy have to pretend they're married for twenty-four hours. Rev asks if Lab Boy's sleeping over. Lucy says it's twenty-four hours total, not consecutive. "But thanks for having faith in me," she adds sarcastically. Lucy, honey, it'd be okay if he were a hot babe and you did it in the back of Matt's car after a PG-13 movie. Your daddy just doesn't want the neighbors to see your bloody sheets on the clothesline. RevCam questions Lucy's ability to watch the twins, Ruthie, the egg, and the date all at once. She reassures him and not-comically runs off to catch the crawling twins. RevCam finds Ruthie ready for bed. She's catching some zees (or zeds) now so she'll be wide-awake for her pizza party with Mary at midnight.

Speaking of, here's Mary at the busy pizza parlor. She still has time to converse with her new friends, though. She's pleasantly surprised by the amount she's making in tips. I wonder how much more she could make by bringing stacks of panties pre-stamped with her phone number, though. Frankie asks her again about staying for a beer after work. Mary can't, she has to bring a pizza home to Ruthie. Frankie says they'll drink while the pizza's cooking. She runs off. Johnny talks about how important that extra hour of R&R time is to Frankie ever since she had the baby. He says that she could use a friend, too, because all her old ones ditched her when she got pregnant. Mary doesn't know about the beer, but she will stick around long enough to get the pizza.

Matt's at his apartment and he's out of milk. He leaves the apartment to get milk. I guess this scene is to indicate that he's made his milk-drinking plans for the evening and he doesn't intend to take Simon anywhere. Either that, or it's just to help round out the hour.

Annie shows up at her professor's office and finds a note on the door. It says, "Mrs. Camden -- Please join me at the Gypsy Café on Broxton. Gene Hatch[something]." She goes to the payphone and gets a busy signal from somewhere.

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7th Heaven




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