7th Heaven
Lost And Found

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Refugee Camp Kwitcherbitchin'

RevCam wakes up and asks what's for dinner tonight, to which his darling wife responds by giving him a face full of passive-aggressive carrot shavings. RevCam apologizes for not paying attention, saying he's distracted because he has to write his Sunday sermon and "sometimes they just write themselves; this one seems to want help." I know the feeling, RevCam. My recaps often need help, too. Usually in the form of my friends Gin and Tonic. Annie asks RevCam to pick up the dry cleaning for her, to which RevCam says he's "too busy" to make stops on his way to work and can't it wait until tomorrow? Considering it's his dry cleaning that needs picking up, as I'm pretty sure Annie's aprons are all machine-washable, it'll have to. Anyway, RevCam whines that he has a really busy day today, as well he should, since he hasn't been to work in like two or three seasons. Then he makes fun of Annie by saying that "job" is a small word too, so I guess he was paying attention to Annie's little stew diatribe after all. So why was he pretending not to? I've given up understanding this show.

Chandler pulls up to Jeffrey's school in his rockin' Beamer. I'd just like to point out that he was going way too fast for a school zone, and he also neglected to use his turn signal. As Chandler pulls up, his car making a noise that sounds a lot like it just hit the curb, he finds another reason to yell at his li'l moppet: Jeffrey took his seatbelt off before the car was fully stopped. Jeffrey says he will if that's what Chandler wants, to which Chandler says he only wants it because of the seatbelt laws, not because of some silly concern for Jeffrey's safety. Jeffrey leaves for school, then turns back and thanks Chandler for the ride. Chandler has the decency to wait until Jeffrey's turned around again before he sighs in disgust and shakes his head.

For today's Opening Credits Timewaster, RevCam sits in his church office in front of that fugly fake stained glass window. He tries to do some work, but then gets bored and reaches into his desk for a candy. Then he gets another candy in what I'm almost positive is the EXACT SAME SHOT as the one we just saw. This show never ceases to disgust me. Eventually, RevCam just dumps a whole bunch of candies into his hand and gobbles them all down like a pig. Suddenly, he hears Chandler coming, so he slams the drawer shut and tries to act like there is no secret stash of candy. Because if Chandler ever found out about that stash, you know he'd eat RevCam's entire desk looking for it. Chandler apologizes for being late, saying that he had to deal with the extreme pain in the ass that was Jeffrey forgetting his lunch in the backseat.

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7th Heaven




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