Sanctuary. After a round of "you first," "no, you first," Lucy starts in on Why She Wants To Be A Preacher. Ew. She lists her reasons: She wants to be like her father; she wants to be respected like her dad is in the community; she wants to serve God, and to serve mankind; this is her purpose in life, and being a minister's daughter guided her to this purpose. Chandler plays the devil's advocate and says many people believe that women shouldn't be ministers, and what makes her think she'd be any good. Lucy says the Bible, history, and religion interest her "because the truth survives both." While she's speechifying, she walks over and stands behind the pulpit, taking her father's place, as it were. Chandler, for some reason, is charmed by her drive and ambition, and calls Lucy a "very smart woman" with a good "sense of humor." I've been recapping this show for three weeks and have seen no evidence of this. Perhaps becoming brainwashed to the Camdens' clear lack of allure is easy when you're right up in the thick of them, like being in a cult?

No matter, because now it's Chandler turn to run down the reasons why he became A Man Of The Cloth. He walks in the same stupid circle Lucy did and stands behind the pulpit to recite his reasons: to make his "parents really, really angry." They aren't religious. They aren't even "nice." They're "hateful and negative and critical." Unlike, say, the Christian Right, or the Moral Majority, or Jerry Falwell, who also is a liar and a freak. Maybe Chandler's parents would like to come and hang out on the 7th Heaven boards, where everyone is super-critical but generally very witty and astute, and nobody's fool on top of it all. Chandler makes another weird and creepy face (maybe it's a tic?) and says he forgot he was supposed to be talking about himself. Rule number one on the WB: It's always all about YOU. He says he started studying religion in college "just to annoy them," then transferred to a seminary without telling them. What a square way to annoy your parents. What about the classics, like smoking, drinking, and dying your hair crazy colors? What, is that too mainstream now? Too Osbournes for you? Is Christianity the thing that really annoys people these days? Well, I guess it's annoying me. He says they wanted him to finish a degree in business, but he doesn't like numbers in neat columns on a page; "life is messier than that." He likes that there are no clear answers. The "unseen" is "powerful" and "awesome," in the classic, old-school sense of awesome. Lucy looks at him raptly, clearly enamored. Oh, just go do it already. He says he also loves words, though he isn't a great public speaker. Lucy squinches up her face and says, "What about church services?" He says he's okay "as long as [he] doesn't get more than one heckler." Shout-out?