Kevin and Roxanne sit in Kevin's honking SUV. Wow, a rookie cop can afford a Saudi Utility Vehicle? At least he's carpooling. Well, he's not even driving it, really. What a good American. Though his vehicle could use a few more flags, or maybe a Calvin pissing on Osama. I kid. No one's car could use a pissing Calvin. Roxanne isn't into the idea of wasting her evening looking for Lucy. Then open the door and get out of the car, woman. Roxanne looks like an amalgam of all the Brady sisters; a little Marcia, a dash of Jan, and a sprinkle of Cindy. It's creepy. Kevin is also creepy in his intensity to find Lucy. Roxanne posits that Lucy saw them dancing and left in a huff. Kevin says no, Lucy would have come up to them and "said something" -- if she were "jealous," she'd have been "right in [their] faces," since "that's how she is." This is so sick. Roxanne lists the reasons she doesn't like Lucy: she's "silly" and "immature." Kevin says he "cares" that Roxanne doesn't like Lucy, so from now on, she "should not share her feelings" on the subject. Roxanne says okay, then tilts her head back and asks for a kiss. Whaaa? Kevin is outraged. He's practically engaged or something! He says vehemently that he "does not want to kiss" Roxanne. She says, "Well!" She sounds like she doubts Kevin's claim. He says that "didn't sound right." He "doesn't want to kiss any woman!" Then it's men he wants to kiss? That sounds about right. ["Isn't that Robbie's department? And where is Robbie this episode, anyway?" -- Sars] Roxanne says one kiss wouldn't hurt. Kevin, clearly a nominee for the worst actor award, says leadenly that "one kiss can change everything. Every. Thing."
Then, at neck-break speed, he changes the subject and asks Roxanne why she became a cop. She says defensively that she'd wanted to be a cop since she was little, and the kiss wasn't such an odd request since they're "off-duty." She tells a horrible, sad story which should have been told on their first day on the job. Like they didn't have time to cover this ground while they were strolling on the promenade, or shopping for jewelry? Anyway, Roxanne's story goes like this: Her mom witnessed a crime, a brutal beating. Her dad convinced her mom to testify; she did, and was shot dead when she walked out of the station. She died three days later, and they never found out who killed her. Kevin says he's sorry. Roxanne asks if NOW she can get a kiss. Jeez, Roxanne! Hey, she's "just trying to lighten the mood!" Making a joke is one thing; schtupping on someone's grave is another. Roxanne says kissing Kevin won't make her miss her dead mother any less. Oh, gross! This is horrible. Finally, Roxanne leans in and says she will "never try and kiss [Kevin] ever. Again." Bullshit. So now it's Kevin's turn to say why he became a cop. Fire killed his dad, but Kevin doesn't want to "fight the same enemy" over and over again. Roxanne says that's what cops do, fight the same fight over and over again. Kevin says they're all different, and the thing he "likes" about being a cop is that "you never know who the enemy is." That's a really bad way of putting it; and considering the way our civil liberties are being rolled back with wiretapping and such, that's the way our federal government looks at it too. I would think that in some situations, it's very clear who the bad guys are. But then again, Kevin is an idiot. He goes back to worrying about Lucy. Roxanne says she thinks that Lucy is fine -- she almost got into "profiling." Kevin says that until she does, she's just "an amateur psychic." Roxanne predicts that Kevin will one day kiss her. Roxanne? Shut up.









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