Annie lets Ruthie's new friend Bert into the kitchen. She offers him cookies, but he and his parents are vegans. They "don't eat anything with a face," so cookies are out because they have eggs, he says. People! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: the eggs you buy at the grocery store are not baby chicks. They're merely chicken menstruation. Sheesh! Quit being so squeamish! Then Annie offers Bert juice, but he's juice-intolerant. Then she offers him water, but blah blah blah -- man. They make fun of kids who eat meat on this show, and then they make fun of kids who don't. You just can't win with these people. Ruthie comes downstairs, rolls her eyes, and leads Bert to her room.

Simon calls Deena's house and her dad answers. He's all like, "Simon, you've already called four times and no, Deena's not home, and no, I don't know why she didn't meet you at church . . ." and is it just me, or is Deena's dad played by a completely different, much younger actor this week? So he hangs up and we pan to Deena, who has a busted lip or the mumps or something. Her mouth's all swollen and coated with lilac lip gloss. Her dad says she really should talk to Simon and tell him the truth, but she "just can't." Hmm. I wonder what the truth could be. I'm so, so curious. What in the world could possibly be going on with my favorite 7th Heaven hickey-traders?

Matt and Shana are at some eatery, and she's dumping vinegar on her fries like there's no tomorrow. It turns out that Brett, her roommate, spent a semester in England and "this is how everyone eats French fries across the pond." Oh, shut up, Shana. Matt's not impressed, either. "Did I hear my name?" says some guy with frosted hair and tons of eye makeup. "Brett! What are you doing?" yelps Shana, the Most-Stalked Woman in Glenoak. Shana informs him that he was supposed to be working in Brooklyn. Brett comes out with some excuse for why he just happens to be in Glenoak for the summer, instead. The boys introduce themselves macho-ly. Brett starts shaking vinegar onto Shana's fries. Are those antlers we hear crashing together?

Mary's parked across from Robbie's little stucco house. She does the tough-girl act as she takes him back and tells him not to break her heart. Damn, now I have that Captain and Tennille song in my head again! Robbie tells her not to punch him again and they kiss all dysfunctionally.

Mary's guidance counselor calls RevCam on a Sunday to tell him that Mary never turned in her acceptance forms for Crawford University. "Are you trying to tell me that Mary doesn't have a college to go to?" freaks RevCam. The guidance counselor is afraid so. Don't worry, Eric. There's always cosmetology school. Or, hey, she could make a living as cheesecake!