7th Heaven
Love Stinks, Part I

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Love Stinks, Part I

Matt and Shana are at some eatery, and she's dumping vinegar on her fries like there's no tomorrow. It turns out that Brett, her roommate, spent a semester in England and "this is how everyone eats French fries across the pond." Oh, shut up, Shana. Matt's not impressed, either. "Did I hear my name?" says some guy with frosted hair and tons of eye makeup. "Brett! What are you doing?" yelps Shana, the Most-Stalked Woman in Glenoak. Shana informs him that he was supposed to be working in Brooklyn. Brett comes out with some excuse for why he just happens to be in Glenoak for the summer, instead. The boys introduce themselves macho-ly. Brett starts shaking vinegar onto Shana's fries. Are those antlers we hear crashing together?

Mary's parked across from Robbie's little stucco house. She does the tough-girl act as she takes him back and tells him not to break her heart. Damn, now I have that Captain and Tennille song in my head again! Robbie tells her not to punch him again and they kiss all dysfunctionally.

Mary's guidance counselor calls RevCam on a Sunday to tell him that Mary never turned in her acceptance forms for Crawford University. "Are you trying to tell me that Mary doesn't have a college to go to?" freaks RevCam. The guidance counselor is afraid so. Don't worry, Eric. There's always cosmetology school. Or, hey, she could make a living as cheesecake!

Mary walks through the CamPound front door and her parents descend like vultures. Did I mention that StuporMom's wearing her sailor top again? I'm gonna interpret that as a shout-out to me, since she obviously reads our recaps and knows that one always catches my eye. ["I thought the same thing." -- Sars] RevCam's all set to bitch out Mary over the college thing when she drops the Robbie bomb on him. She says they're back together and that he's really changed since Valentine's Day. Annie looks like she has really bad gas pains. RevCam says nothing. Mary asks if something's wrong. Eric tells what he heard from the guidance counselor. "Please tell us this is a mistake -- a terrible mistake," pleads Annie. Mary says she's not going to college. She's sorry they had to find out like this, but she's glad they know now. She runs upstairs.

Bert and Ruthie color and cut paper in her room. Ruthie asks if he's just going to stare at her all day. He can't help staring because she looks like a Powerpuff Girl. "Really? Which one?" she perks. "The pretty one," he says. Shout-out to me! Everyone knows I was the inspiration for Buttercup. Bert gives Ruthie a glass cat as a gift and asks her to be his girlfriend. "Why would I do that?" she asks. "I gave you the cat," he says, like "duh!" Yeah, Ruthie. Get with the program, here. He's following The Rules! Don't you pay attention to Lucy's behavior?

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7th Heaven




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