7th Heaven
Love Stinks, Part I

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Love Stinks, Part I

In the living room, Ronald is sitting next to Lucy on the couch, telling her he's surprised he was allowed to come over since the CamRents hate Robbie so much. Lucy smirks and says they didn't like Rick, either. Then she asks if Ronald has a girlfriend. He says no, and ascertains that she has no boyfriend. He asks about "that little weird guy in church," and Lucy explains that she dated him a few times, but Andrew's having a hard time getting over her. Then she and Ronald just start sucking face. The hell? I know we often make fun of the goody-two-shoe morality of this program, but now they've taken it to the other extreme. Didn't Lucy just meet this guy the morning of this same day? RevCam walks in and clears his throat until they break for air. Lucy shamelessly introduces Ronald as "Rick and Robbie's brother." Ronald shakes hands and RevCam tells him, "I don't like your family," in his best Eastwood voice. Ronald sincerely informs Eric that he'd never take Lucy to a motel. Ha. RevCam excuses himself to "go put [his] head through a wall." Ronald and Lucy sit back down and start making out again. Dang.

Eric goes into the kitchen and asks his wife why she let Mary go out with Robbie. Annie's resigned to Mary's willfulness. RevCam vows that Mary's going to college, "even if it's only to get her away from Robbie Pah-mer." Okay, RevCam. Oh, hey, maybe you should pick up some prophylactics for your daughters on the way home from work tomorrow. I'm just sayin'.

In the movie theater, Matt and Shana both start to say, "I have something to tell you . . ." Matt was going to tell her about Heather, but she tells him all this crap about how she moved back to Glenoak to work on her relationship with him. Dopey says he can't remember what he was going to say. He puts his arm around her as a hokey western soundtrack starts. I guess he doesn't love Heather after all.

Simon calls Cynthia, who tells him that Deena is dating a boy from another school. She advises Simon to move on and find someone else. Simon doesn't want anyone but Deena. Cynthia gives her condolences and hangs up. We see that Deena's been sitting next to her the whole time. Shocking! Cynthia thinks Deena should tell Simon the truth. Deena says it's better this way. "This way he'll hate [her] and it won't be so hard for him to let go." Gosh. What in the world could be going on? I'll just have to be contented with my certainty that it's something stupid.

On the Promenade, Robbie tells Mary that he got accepted to Crawford. He figures that he'll "go to school there while [they] work on [their] relationship and [she figures] out what [she's] gonna do with [her] life." Sounds like a plan to me. Again he promises that he's changed and he's not gonna lie to her again. They kiss and seat themselves at a little table. Two chicks emerge from a shop and see them. "Isn't that your ex-boyfriend Robbie?" one of the chicks asks. She's holding a leopard-print bag. She must be a bad girl. "That's him," says the other chick. She's wearing leopard-print pants and a black pleather vest. She must be a bad bad girl. This chick lets us all know that she'd been going steady with Robbie for three years, up until last week, when he dumped her. Her friend suggests that she "march over there and tell Robbie off." Oh, but you just know that the bad, bad girl has "a better idea," don't you? Of course you do. Can we get a catfight here? I'm seeing Eric Stanton as the consultant.

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7th Heaven

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