7th Heaven
Love Stinks, Part I

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Love Stinks, Part I

Simon goes up to Deena at her locker and gives her "an early birthday present." It's a junky little ring. Check out what Deena says: "In light of what's happened between us, I can't accept it." HA! I'm so sure! Simon says it's a promise ring, but he only wants her to have it for remembrance purposes. "I can't take the ring, and I don't want to see other people!" Deena cries. Simon doesn't understand. Deena hands him the ring and runs away. Good thing, too, because it looks like she went to the Montgomery Ward furniture department, took all the bedspreads out of the little girls' bedroom showcases, cut them into big squares, and used those squares to make her outfit. Simon's better off without her, I say.

In the final locker-stalking scene of the hour, Andrew tells Lucy that Ronald doesn't know her like he does. He lists a bunch of ridiculous personal qualities about Lucy that he knows from their three dates. He says they're perfect for each other but Lucy's afraid to admit it. He says that he's going to walk away from her now, and if she doesn't stop him, he'll never bother her again. He starts walking. "Andrew!" Lucy yells. He goes, "Yes!" and turns to her, but she doesn't say jack. "Man, you were this close." He holds up his fingers, indicating how close she was. Then he goes away and Lucy sighs. Oh, well. Andrew's on his way to my house. I'm making migas and picadillo.

The bad, bad girl drives up to the House of Robbie in her black pants and sinful red blouse. Ooh, she's bad! She saw Robbie and Mary last night on the Promenade. She made some phone calls and apparently, she's the last to know Robbie was "two-timing" her. (I guess she called Simon's friend Cynthia?) Oops -- correction: the actual last person to know is Mary. Bad Girl's going to tell Mary everything. Robbie begs her not to because he loves her. "Too bad, because after I talk to her, she's gonna HATE YOU," says the Bad Girl Without A Name. Hey, now, young lady! That's no way to behave. Switch those flashy colors for some florals and kiss a boy on your parents' couch. It's the right thing to do.

Ick Alert! Annie and Eric meet at the bottom of the stairs. "Did you finish your work? The twins are napping!" Annie gleefully states. "So, this is like a, free period?" asks Eric. They start sucking face. Then all the kids bust in from school. "I don't want to talk about it!" sulks Simon. "I don't want to talk about it!" whines Ruthie. "I DON'T want to talk about it!" carps Lucy. Shut up, brats. Who asked you? Then Mary's all glowing and floating as she tells her good news. Robbie's going to get his own apartment in the fall. He's going to need a roommate. Mary's going to move in with him and that way she won't have to worry about paying her parents rent! Woo! "D'OH!" for the CamRents! Mary manages to convey her assurance that this will be a non-sexual roommateship. At first I was skeptical, but then the Lighthearted Acoustic Guitar confirmed it. Eric and Annie looked shocked and then the screen went black and said "to be continued." Fabulous.

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7th Heaven

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