Mary's sitting outside in the yard when Annie walks up to her and asks if she's okay. Mary just wanted "to be alone and think," but she tells SuperMom to stay if she wants. Mary is finally ready to talk about her future. What it amounts to is that she's scared of messing up her life again. Am I watching the right show? This makes two good scenes in a row. SuperMom explains nicely that while life is a challenge, one shouldn't be afraid of it. She talks about how she and RevCam are proud of Mary and have raised her well and that they trust her to make the right decision for herself. Unfortunately, this seems to have all flown past Mary's head, because she asks if SuperMom can tell her what the right decision is. SuperMom can't, but I don't mind suggesting that Mary will be better off if she remembers to stay away from skanky photo shoots for men's magazines. Oops, I guess I'm about six months too late with my advice. Uh, okay, then just go to college already, Mary.
Chickenhead and Brett are leaving her coop when they walk past a giant butternut squash -- er, I mean Dopey. Shana apologizes to him, and Brett says he never wanted Dopey to find out about his affair with Shana this way. Matt responds with, "Is that why you came to the door half-dressed and said, 'Shana, you have to tell him about us'?" Okay, that was pretty clever. Dopey tells Brett to leave. Chickenhead squawks about how she dated Brett in NYC but broke it off and now she's willing to work things out with Dopey. She wonders if it was the geographical distance that wreaked such havoc on their relationship, but Dopey thinks they just grew apart. He says, "Now I guess it's time for us both to stop holding onto the past." He explains that when he saw Brett and Chickenhead together, he acted hurt and upset because he thought that was how he should act, but that he's actually in love with someone else. Chickenhead guesses it's Heather. Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
Ruthie is at the CamPound, thanking Burt for coming over, even though he says his mother forced him to. He adds, "Until I met you I thought I wanted a girlfriend, but now I'm not so sure." Ruthie suggests that they be friends but that he continue to do things for her and give her presents. Honestly, who the hell would think this drivel is cute? See, like when Burt suggests that Ruthie give him presents and do things for him too, and she says, "Maybe, but don't count on it." They discuss kissing, and Ruthie professes to think it's stupid. Uh-oh, I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this, a really bad feeling. Sure enough, Ruthie offers to let Burt kiss her. Inexplicably, he takes her up on her offer. They very carefully, and in a not-at-all choreographed fashion, move in for a kiss in which their heads don't even go anywhere near each other. Hell, they're barely in the same area code! I stop the tape and repair to the washroom, where I find it necessary to vomit copiously. The "missed kiss" image itself is frightening, but not nearly as frightening as contemplating the fact that someone thought this scene would be cute. Okay, sorry, but I think I have to be sick again. Sure, there are ratings for violence and sexual content and strong language, but a scene like this can be foisted upon an unsuspecting viewership with absolutely no warning whatsoever? I think I'll spend my summer vacation starting a lobby group to put a stop to this sort of thing. At first I think Burt is leaning over to vomit too, but he's just reaching into his bag to get the crystal cat that he stole back for Ruthie. SuperMom and RevCam are watching this from the window. Eric comments that of all the boys his daughters have brought home, he likes Burt the best. Okay, 7th Heaven people, just stop it! How many times do I have to tell you? This sort of thing doesn't even come close to being cute!