7th Heaven
Love Stinks, Part II

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Love Stinks, Part II

This episode picks up right where last week's left off, with Mary trying to convince the CamRents that it is a good idea for her to move in with Robbie. Hee! I can't blame her for trying, but even Mary can't be so dense as to think her parents actually will go for this plan. She claims she can't afford to pay rent to the CamRents unless she gets a job, and Robbie doesn't think she should take a job she hates just to pay the rent. I chortle heartily for about three or four hours at that particular witticism. RevCam screams at Mary for a while. No one mentions the heart attack he had earlier in the season or tells him to calm down the way they used to. Maybe the writers are reluctant to bring up Eric's cardiovascular woes because they're embarrassed about annoying past plot lines, like when Matt hallucinated that he should move back to the CamPound after his father's heart attack, or when RevCam was so happy about surviving his heart attack that he was singing in the backyard in the middle of the night. I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have reminded you. For all I know, you've just eaten. Anyway, RevCam yells while SuperMom just stands there looking queasy. She pretends to be supportive, which fools Mary, who exits the scene. We learn that Annie has been employing reverse psychology. Wow, what a fresh approach! RevCam has a little trouble grasping the reverse psychology concept. Apparently he's never seen any of the four thousand bad sitcoms that have been employing this device since the dawn of time.

It looks like the writers are a little winded after that big emotional opening scene, because when we return from commercial, all we see is Lucy sulkily flipping channels on the TV. There's no dialogue, no action, just shots of television programs that appear almost as dull as 7th Heaven. Hey, wait, Lucy, put the alligator show back on -- at least it looks educational. I've always secretly wondered if something like this would happen, where the writers have finally exhausted their supply of crappy dialogue and have to fill up the hour with scenes that don't even pretend to have a point. What's next? Will Lucy leave to grab a snack while the camera stays fixed on the empty couch until she returns? There is such a thing as taking "slice of life" programming too far, you know. Finally SuperMom comes in. She turns off the TV and asks Lucy what's wrong. Lucy says she was upset before, but she's better now. SuperMom badgers her until Lucy admits she's having boy troubles. Weird Andrew Nayloss has been telling her he likes her, though she claims to like Robbie's creepy brother instead. SuperMom employs some of her psychology superpowers again to deduce that, actually, Lucy likes Andrew more and just doesn't realize it yet.

Ew, it all just gets creepier as RevCam and Simon engage in a little freak-to-freak discussion of Deena. Simon can't understand Deena's erratic behaviour. I can't really understand it either, but unlike Simon, I don't even have to pretend to care. In a nutshell, Simon's confusion stems from the fact that Deena wants to break up with him but won't really tell him why. He says he tried to give her a promise ring, though he's not exactly sure what it promises. I humbly suggest that it stand for a promise from the writers to never, ever bring up that hickey plot again. Ever. RevCam says, "I didn't know things had gotten that serious." Simon says, "Well, I thought that after I had bit her on the neck, you guys had kind of gotten the idea that things were serious between us." I don't know about that, but the entire detestable love-bite plot did help to give rise to my new theory that perhaps the writers have made some kind of pact with Beelzebub in which they must make religion look thoroughly unpalatable through shows like this one. In return, they were granted eternal youth sometime in the early 1800s. I figure they're probably drawing on their own childhood experiences for material; hence, we get the plots so tame that they would be better suited to the Regency period. I ponder my theory while RevCam mulls over the Deena situation for a while.

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7th Heaven




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