7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
662 USERS: C+
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Loves Me, Loves Me Not

Dopey's energetically mopping the hospital cafeteria floor when Heather comes up to him and says, "Is that a mop, or are you just happy to see me?" There's no way Barry Watson can make laughing at that joke believable, and I don't blame him one iota. He just stands around looking uncomfortable as hell that he's on a show where jokes like that get told. The actress who plays Heather doesn't look much happier at having to say that line, either. At least it's finally time for the opening credits and some commercials.

Dopey's long-suffering roommate, John, keeps unplugging the phone when it rings. That's kinda rude, if you ask me, although I assume it's Chickenhead he keeps hanging up on, so I guess it's okay. Dopey and Heather walk in. Dopey wants to know if Shana's called. John looks irritated as he says, "Yes, she did, more than once." He adds that Chickenhead is going out but that she'll call Dopey when she gets back. Okay, then I'm confused: Who was John hanging up on before? Heather says she likes the bunk beds, which I've never seen before. "Really?" says Dopey. "Shana hates them." We're saved from having to hear what else Shana likes and dislikes when Heather informs us that she's transferred to Crawford. I am amazed at how much new information we've received in the past few episodes: the names of the twins, the name of the school Dopey and John attend, the fact that they actually have beds of some sort in their swingin' bachelor pad. Anyway, John is surprised that Dopey never told him Heather transferred to their school. Dopey looks around shiftily. I can see why Dopey would want to keep Chickenhead in the dark concerning Heather; I have no idea why John's not supposed to know. What can I say? The stupid are different from you and me.

SuperMom and RevCam are picking up about a thousand toys scattered around the living room couch. I think that makes it even weirder that Annie is pimping for the twins. RevCam leeringly asks if he and Annie have time for a Sunday afternoon nap. I thought Sweeps Month was when the networks tried to lure viewers in, not turn them off with allusions to the CamRents' no-doubt-icky sex life. Speaking of icky, Mary comes in to ask if she's correct in assuming that no one's allowed out of the house on Valentine's Day. SuperMom confirms that Mary's assumption is correct. The phone rings, and Lucy shouts that it's Robbie calling. Mary runs off blissfully. SuperMom tells Eric about Robbie's plan to bring Mary to meet his parents. She gives about ten reasons justifying why it should be okay with RevCam, but he's still hesitant about trusting Robbie. I hate to see RevCam be right about anything, but in this case his judgment's pretty good.

7th Heaven

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