7th Heaven
Loves Me, Loves Me Not

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Loves Me, Loves Me Not

Robbie and Mary pull up in front of a seedy motel. Robbie is gentlemanly enough to go around to Mary's side of the car and open the door for her. She gets out and looks around, finally asking, "Where's the Tick Tock? The coffee shop?" Anything having to do with Robbie's weird story about the "Tick Tock" coffee shop is funny enough to me, except this time it's even better, because as Mary's asking this, there's a glitch in my cable feed which causes Mary's head to pouf out in weird formations. Robbie explains that he made up the whole charming story about his parents meeting at the "Tick Tock Diner." What? Dear heavens, Robbie, no! Don't tell me you lied about the Tick Tock! It seems his parents actually spent their first Valentine's Day at this seedy motel, since they were both married to different people at the time. He thinks it would be romantic to spend his first Valentine's Day with Mary at the same motel. I'd be laughing a lot harder if I didn't keep getting this creepy mental image of Robbie's parents telling the kids this not-at-all-touching story of their courtship. Ick, no wonder Robbie's so screwed up. Mary's having a little trouble getting used to this idea. She asks Robbie if he brought her here to -- she trails off, not wanting to say the word "sex," I guess. Robbie, replies, "Yeah, because I love you. And I hope you love me." Mary slaps him so hard that he falls on his back. I try not to hurt my own back as I fall off my chair laughing at the Aaron Spelling-ness of it all.

Speaking of Spelling trademarks, when we cut back from commercial, another plot is being rehashed for about the thousandth time. Chickenhead and Dopey are talking about their relationship again. It all boils down to Chicken not believing that Dopey isn't interested in Heather. She wants to set him free so she can find out if he really loves her. There's more, but I'm having a hard time hearing it over the snoring of my rabbits, who ask me to play tapes of this show when they have difficulty falling asleep. Dopey sulkingly wishes Chickenhead a happy Valentine's Day, and she just says goodbye to him. It looks like they're broken up. Okay, great. Moving right along, Chicken's roommate, Brett, starts massaging her shoulders and saying he will take her out for a late dinner. Then they can come home and watch "a bad movie on TV." Chickenhead comments that this sounds like a date. He jokingly asks, "Too soon?" When she turns around to whack him with a pillow, he leans in and kisses her. My first instinct is to say that he's being kind of presumptuous and insensitive, but then, anyone's better than Dopey, and the sooner Shana realizes this, the better. Hmm, it looks like she's already realized it.

Dopey stares at the phone he's just hung up. We hear a knock at the door. Dopey and John argue over who should answer it. Dude, how about you both chill out and nobody answers it. That works for Mr. Cate and me. Besides, it's probably Heather, and she's hearing-impaired, so you could blare some Zeppelin if you wanted, and she still wouldn't hear you to know you were home. But I don't think I'd want to avoid Heather anyway -- she's turning into the best character on the show. I probably shouldn't get too attached to her, though, since it looks like she'll be outta there after this ep. She's telling Matt not to let Chickenhead know she's in town. When Dopey asks why not, Heather says, "Because I shouldn't have told you I'm back." She doesn't want to be responsible for creating problems between Dopey and Chicken, and when she hears that they have broken up, she encourages Matt to "make it work." They hug, and Heather leaves. Dopey must be extra-stupid to choose Chickenhead over Heather. He dials Shana's number, but lo and behold, she's not there. I assume she's out with Brett.

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7th Heaven




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