Now we move to that stupid outdoor market/street/whatever set, and I can't get over how phony this thing looks, like, maybe the people who make 7th Heaven are too ashamed to show their faces outside so they can never film on location, but anyway Kevin and CopRox take time out from their busy shift of strolling the promenade looking to crack some skulls of anyone who would disturb the white gentry, and they find Chandler at a café or something and ask how he's doing, and Chandler says he's fine and wants to know why they're asking, and Roxanne says, "I heard about you and Paris, I'm sorry," only she doesn't sound sorry at all, although I think she's supposed to be sincere but it was just crappy line-delivery on her part. "I don't know what you heard, but Paris and I are friends," he says, and Roxanne's all, "Okay," not buying it, and Kevin says Chandler seems tense, and Chandler says, "My family," and Roxanne says, "Is something wrong?" when it's pretty frickin' obvious, and Chandler tells them he's the executor of his dad's estate, but before he can go off on a rant about that, his cell phone rings, and it's his mother, supposedly, and we don't hear her end of the conversation, in which she apparently asks if he's changed his mind and calls him "Napoleon." I say "apparently" not because we don't get to hear it but because Chandler doesn't pause long enough between sentences for his mom to say what she's supposedly saying, like none of the actors on this sorry excuse for a show gives a shit at all about their work, and he yells something about Napoleon's being a tyrant so when his mom calls him that "it hurts [his] feelings!" and his mom hangs up on him, and since Chandler can't exactly slam down a cell phone in anger, he squeezes it really hard. And he says that his brother is out of rehab, and that whatever money his mom gets she'll likely give to him, which he'd just spend on booze and drugs, I guess, and maybe Chandler should total up his chocolate-cake receipts before he passes judgment on someone else's spending money on a particular vice. He bitches some more about his dad's making him executor, and his cell phone rings again, so Kevin and Roxanne decide to get lost because they really can't stand to watch Chandler throw another hissyfit on the phone with his mother.
Episode Report CardDaniel: F | 456 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT