Making The Show
The Montage Of Obnoxiousness starts up again. We are introduced to a Burt Brickerhoff, who actually admits that he's a director and a producer on the show. If I were him, I would demand that they put one of those witness-protection smudges on my face and alter my speaking voice. He gives us a short summary of the show they're taping, entitled "I Really Do." Then Gallagher does the same thing. Then Collins does it too. And then Biel also tells us what the show is about. That was so annoying. Burt comes back and tells us -- Spoiler alert! -- about the religious differences between Matt and his new girlfriend, saying, "They start to wonder whether that would be a problem for them to be together for the rest of their lives." So maybe I do need three more people to tell me what he just said after all, because old Burt doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of sense.
Montage Of Obnoxiousness. LaVorgna gets the distinct privilege of showing us around the Camden house. There's a shot of him opening the door that gets repeated like six times. Those MTV editors, always trying to use as many tools as they possibly can, even if it's stupid and unnecessary. LaVorgna has a bad-ass tattoo on his arm, and he's holding some kind of futuristic tennis racket. He shows us around the living room, and points out a weird picture of RevCam and Annie. It looks like the prop department just took a picture of Collins's and Hicks's heads and put them on a wedding couple's bodies. LaVorgna describes the dining room as a place where "many a tear [is] shed." Maybe so, but not in Robbie's scenes, where tears are supposed to be shed, but due to a certain tattoo-sporting actor's acting inability, are not. LaVorgna gets all excited in the kitchen, asking us if we're "ready for" the refrigerator. I predict that it will have something hilarious and decidedly un-Camden inside it, but all it has in it is a lot of food. Wooo. Not exciting. LaVorgna then shows us the twins' room and spends way too much time talking about all the Vaseline contained therein. And we get to see Robbie and Matt's Hello Kitty bedroom suite. He jokes about how masculinely it's been decorated, and then someone off-camera throws a pillow at him. He says the room's decorating is a "running theme and it's funny, I guess." It's the funniest thing on your crappy show, LaVorgna. He then tells us that maybe next season they'll get some Limp Bizkit posters in there or something. I hope not, because Hello Kitty is seriously a lot cooler than Limp Bizkit. Also, I don't want to consider the fact that next season's audience will continue to be subjected to the acting stylings of Adam LaVorgna.