7th Heaven
Making The Show

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Making The Show

The MTV Poem
by B. Mitchell and J. Biel

Thank you MTV,
For coming to our set,
And all the stuff we forgot to say,
We really do regret.

We think you're super funky,
And super super sweet,
And super super super super,
Super duper neat.

Biel insists that she won't quit her day job, which I don't think is such a good idea, since her poem was better than her acting. We go to commercial, with a teaser telling us to stay tuned so we can see Richard Lewis. I think a better selling point would be if they promised us we will not see Richard Lewis if we stay tuned.

MoO. We get to see some film equipment, and then Gallagher introduces the scene we are about to see. Sadly, this moment of appropriate professionalism is ruined by Barry Watson, who tries to be cool by swearing, but instead draws a confused look from Gallagher. The laughs you hear, Barry? At you, not with you. They tape the scene, and then Barry gives us a few contradicting statements about how he'll miss people when he leaves, but how he also really wants to leave, but how it will be hard to leave, but how he also needs to leave. Barry then exits the scene and swears at the camera and laughs at his funny joke. Again. Barry and Gallagher leave for the day, and exchange a rather awkward handshake.

MoO announces that we are going to see "the Love Interest." And then Barry introduces us to his "partner in crime," Ron Zimmerman. Ah, so the long-awaited coming-out episode of 7H is here at last? No, Matt will just be asking Ron's character for advice about how to get married, and to whom. Are they trying to make Matt into the comic-strip character "Cathy" or something? What is with his obsession with getting married? I know tons of guys his age and none of them are like this. In fact, they are very much the opposite. And now we are introduced to Sarah Madison, who will be playing "the Love Interest." And it would seem that Brenda, who was so intent upon having a Muslim actor play a Muslim character, does not care so much if Jewish actors play Jewish characters. Unless "Madison" is a Jewish name I've never heard before. Three cheers for Brenda Hampton and her remarkable consistency! That cheesy porno music is still going on as the scene begins, and Ron Zimmerman "acts." Barry tells us that he is nothing like Matt. I don't know about that; the way Barry was going on about how all the ladies on the 7H set have crushes on him sounded pretty Matt-like to me. I guess the real qualification for true Mattitude is whether or not Barry stalks women. Barry then basically admits that he sucks at acting and can't relate to the character he has been portraying for the past six years now. This is getting depressing. The Love Interest walks in and has a scene with Barry. She's as good as any other 7H guest star, which is to say, she's pretty terrible. If someone ever gives me a television show to run, I'll be sure not to hire whoever does the casting for this show. I wouldn't even hire anyone who's had so much as a conversation with 7H's casting director, for fear that extremely bad casting decisions might prove contagious.

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7th Heaven




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