For the Opening Credits Timewaster, Dr. Matt, M(uch).D(opey). wanders around the hospital looking for a phone to use. Amazingly, he still hasn't gotten the hang of that cell phone of his and has to use a pay phone, for which there is a long line of similarly technologically unadvanced people waiting. Matt waits in the line for about three seconds, then abandons it in favor of the free phone at a nurse's station. As he's waiting for whoever he called to pick up, a nurse approaches him and glares. Matt sees her and hangs up the phone as she asks him how he gets any work done when he's on the phone all the time. He doesn't really have an answer for that. The nurse tells Matt that a guy named Carlos called for him and said that Matt should come to his apartment as soon as possible. Matt asks Nurse if she's talking about the Carlos who is his brother-in-law. Nurse says she has no freaking idea. Matt says Carlos might not be his brother-in-law anymore. Nurse couldn't care less. I love how the hospital staff obviously hates Matt. I bet they talk about him in the break room.
Kevin isn't wearing a shirt. I see they're pulling out all the stops for the season finale! Kevin can't find his t-shirts, which are no longer in the dresser where he last left them. Lucy explains that she put them in the closet to make more room for Savannah's stuff. Kevin points out that Lucy didn't see fit to store any of her stuff in the closet. Lucy just shrugs. Kevin puts a t-shirt on and complains about how silly it is that Savannah's stuff gets priority over their stuff when she's just a baby and doesn't care. Lucy says she doesn't want to "crowd" Savannah by storing things in her room. Kevin asks if he'll have to wait for Savannah to go to college before he has his own space again. In fact, Kevin, it turns out that once Savannah leaves for college, Lucy will do the Christian thing and adopt a young boy to fill the void in her life and wash dishes. So you'll never be getting your own space. Unless you get smart and divorce her. Lucy insists that she wants to move out just as much as Kevin does. "Don't tease," says Kevin, who probably says that a lot nowadays, although it's usually in bed at night. He points out that Lucy has been saying she wants to move out for half of the season, but has never actually followed through on it. If she's serious about moving this time, Kevin will be more than happy to call the "real-i-tor" and get some listings. All houses listed must have their own fallout shelter attached, in case of nuc-u-lar war. Lucy says she wants to be involved with the entire house-buying process this time, which apparently includes making all the calls to the "real-i-tor," which she has every intention of doing. Kevin remains unconvinced.