7th Heaven
Mi Familia, Part I

Episode Report Card
Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now!
Mi Familia Es Horrible

Vincent walks Ruthie to her front door after their date. Ruthie expects a kiss on the lips, but only gets one on the forehead. She's all put out about it, but seeing as the poor guy has to pretty much double over to get down to the level of her lips, he's got every right to pull up a bit to reduce the strain on his back. Help the guy out and bring a stool to your next date, Ruthie. IF THERE IS ONE!

Martin watches what sounds like an old Western on TV. Yes, today's teenage boys just love their Gunsmoke! Vincent silently enters the Treehouse and makes Martin pay attention to him. He says he "needs" Martin to get Ruthie to dump him. He'd dump Ruthie himself, but the last time he tried to do that, she cried and made a scene. Also, the writers of this show will make any situation, no matter how seemingly banal, into an Exercise in Miscommunication with "Hilarious" Results. Martin refuses to do Vincent's dirty work for him, and asks what all this is about. Vincent explains that he's going to visit his grandparents in Hawaii this summer, and he doesn't want his relationship with Ruthie to prevent him from meeting any hot Hawaiian chicks, even though Ruthie looks more Hawaiian than most Hawaiians. Martin agrees to help Vincent because he wants to help Ruthie. He tells Vincent to leave the Treehouse now "because the urge to hit [Vincent] is growing stronger." I know how Martin feels, seeing as my urge to hit him grows exponentially stronger between eight-to-nine o'clock every Monday.

George meets Meredith, who tells him about Christina, yet another sister. Christina's in college and doesn't come home that much, although once she has a real home to come back to, she'll probably start coming by every weekend. "That's okay, right?" asks Meredith. George looks horrified.

Lucy apologizes to Annie for getting from "work" home so late, but she was stuck on "TAC" in the Kid's Scramble. She assumed the answer was "CAT," but that left the riddle on the bottom without any vowels, which obviously doesn't work. After a couple hours, though, Lucy realized that the answer was actually "ACT," and that gave her the "A" she needed to solve the final puzzle. Annie stops her housewifery dough-rolling to nag Lucy to get those real estate listings. As SamVid listen from the stairs, Lucy asks Annie why she wants her out of the house so much. Upon hearing this, SamVid go upstairs, because why listen to an entire conversation when you can just hear some easily misunderstood bits and pieces and act on them?

Annie says that this is not about what she wants, it's about what's best for Lucy and Kevin's marriage. "We're fine," says Lucy, totally forgetting about the two fights she's had with Kevin today alone. Annie says she has one daughter with marital problems already and she doesn't want two. "That's why you need to move," Annie says, "before what seems like a small problem -- living here -- turns into a big problem. And then who knows what would happen?" It's not often that you can run something through Babelfish and have it come out BETTER and MORE CLEARLY STATED than the original, but I think you could do that here. In fact, I did just that, and here is what I got: "That is, why you must move. Before which like a small problem seems -- here living -- revolutions into a large problem. And then knows who, what would happen?" Lucy simply says that Mary and Carlos will work their problems out eventually, even though the issue here is Lucy and Kevin moving out, not Mary and Carlos.

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7th Heaven




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