7th Heaven
Monkey Business (1)

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Monkey Business (1)
Annie rushes in and demands to know what's going on. Has the stalking and spying mentality got so bad that nobody even bothers trying to be subtle about it anymore? Lucy transparently bad-mouths Kevin's guest's appearance for a while, seemingly oblivious to the irony that she's doing so while coiffed in The World's Most Revolting Hairstyle. Annie explains that Kevin's visitor is his new partner. It should come as no great surprise that Lucy is not at all mollified by that.

After she leaves, Annie tries to seduce RevCam. The look of stark terror on his face at the prospect of sleeping with her is priceless. He tries a couple of excuses to get out of it, to no avail.

On her way to the Garage Treehouse, Lucy walks past Simon and Cecilia, who are sitting in Mary's car, in the garage, making out. It's a good thing the car isn't running. With the windows and garage door closed, that could be dangerous, and we certainly don't want anything to happen to Simon or Cecilia, do we? Especially Cecilia. With her annoying baby voice, she asks Lucy, "Do you know there's a really hot blonde chick up in Kevin's apartment?" Hey, Ashlee Simpson, do you know that you should have chosen your first acting role more wisely? Because I don't exactly think this crappy role Brenda's written for you will be a springboard to success.

Lucy walks up the stairs to see Pea-Brained Moron Kevin and his new partner practicing some sort of self-defense moves. Even though it could be remotely possible to misconstrue what's going on, Lucy would have to be an utter imbecile to do so. Since it's Lucy we're talking about, of course she storms off in a huff.

Downstairs in the garage, Kevin tries to encourage Lucy to come back upstairs and meet his new partner. Lucy would rather get into an argument over whether the partner is "hot." She doesn't even seem to care that she has an audience for her crazy performance, as Simon and Cecilia quit making out to watch the fight. When Lucy gets Kevin to admit that his new partner may in fact be "hot," Cecilia tells Simon, "He's an idiot." Simon sticks up for him, replying, "Yeah, but only when it comes to Lucy." That's nice of you, Simon, but I'm afraid your assessment couldn't be further off the mark. I think it's been made abundantly clear that Kevin is a total idiot in every aspect of his life. Lucy wants to know who assigned him to be partnered with this woman. What kind of moronic question is that? Kevin's answer, "I don't know, but probably by your friend, Detective Michaels," makes me laugh so hard that I spit water all over my keyboard. Lucy's reply is even better: "How did Detective Michaels get involved in our business?" You might want to ask your dad about that, Lucy. Actually, I'm a little skeptical about Detective Michaels being involved in this decision, though. I doubt RevCam would have approved something that he had to know would aggravate his shit-for-brains daughter. Kevin tries to point out calmly that this is police business, not personal business, but he obviously doesn't know how Glenoak works. When Lucy stomps off, Simon tries to warn Kevin that she's probably calling Detective Michaels herself to confirm his story. Cecilia just sits there impassively, obviously unconcerned that she's stumbled across the most dysfunctional family of losers in town. Well, if she can't see the warning signs, me telling her probably won't help. As Pea-Brained Moron Kevin rushes off to put a stop to Lucy's phone call, Cecilia goes back to making out with Simon.

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7th Heaven




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