Back at the church, RevCam is being confronted by a church elder or someone who could be a regular character, for all I know. He wants to know what RevCam was doing out on "the street" in his pajamas this morning. He also wants know why Mary drove off so fast and why RevCam said something about kissing her. Okay, back up here. If RevCam is molesting his oldest daughter and bragging about it to the entire neighborhood, wouldn't this be a complaint that would kind of overshadow Mary's driving fast and the public wearing of pajamas? I mean, what's next? "RevCam, you're raping your children and you're not sorting your recycling properly." Apparently, according to church elder guy, the parishioners want to know why the Cam children are allowed to do things which reflect badly on the church -- like Mary dating "an older gentleman," Lucy living with her fiancée, and Ruthie baby-sitting for the monkey. Jeez, hasn't anyone on this show ever heard the stereotype about preachers' kids or even that song by Dusty Springfield? I mean, I was always under the impression that if you were a preacher and your children weren't acting in porn films or serving time in a federal prison, you were a pretty good parent. RevCam nervously tries to explain away all of the gossip before he exits to go get an address off his desk. I'm guessing that was Alan Fudge.
Back at school, Simon is walking down the hall with BritneyClone. Only she's ChristianBritneyClone, because there's only a couple of centimeters of midriff exposed below her aqua shirt. BritneyClone wants to hang out sometime, but Simon is "booked." BC wants to know why he's been spending so much time with Claire Cleavage. Okay, which writer on the 7th Heaven staff actually named a character Claire Cleavage. Oh, wait -- that's just her nickname, because Simon tells BC to stop calling her that. He also explains that Claire Cleavage is a paying customer and gets to spend as much time with him as she wants, since it's her dime. Plus they don't really do anything except hang out in the library. "She has kind of a bad reputation," says BC. Uh, how much of a "bad reputation" can Claire Cleavage have if she has to pay for sexless dates? I mean, if she's that easy, you'd think her dance card would be full.