7th Heaven
Monkey Business Deux (2)

Episode Report Card
Gustave: D+ | Grade It Now!
Simon, Portrait of a Teenage Prostitute

Meanwhile, in the backyard, RevCam is sitting alone all by himself. BritneyClone enters. "Hi Reverend Camden," she says. "I wasn't sure if I was supposed to use the back door or the front door." No comment. She asks if Simon is home. RevCam confirms that everyone except Mary is home. BC makes a snarky comment about Mary dating someone as old as RevCam, then changes into confessional mode and starts making veiled references to doing something she knows she shouldn't have done. RevCam immediately sympathizes, because he talked to Mary against Annie's wishes. And we have to sit through a commercial break before we can find out what BritneyClone did that was so wrong.

After the commercial break, RevCam enters the CamPound and starts screaming for Simon's head. Simon meets him in the kitchen, where RevCam is counting to ten. "Did you take money from BritneyClone to take her out last weekend?" Simon is all, "She offered!" Kevin and Annie, who are in the kitchen as well, overhear the whole exchange. Kevin exits to the upstairs and reports the news back to Lucy, Robbie, and Ruthie. Simon's dating service is news to Lucy. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" she asks, waving around her nail tips. "Because no one likes a stool pigeon," says Ruthie pointedly. "At least that's what Kevin said." Lucy gets mad at Kevin for keeping stuff from her when he's supposed to be her boyfriend. Kevin sends her upstairs to talk to Robbie while he has a chat with Ruthie. Instead of doing what millions of viewers lust for every week and slapping the shit out of Ruthie, Kevin verbally reprimands Ruthie for ratting out Kevin to Lucy. And may I remind everyone that all Ruthie has really done is to tell Lucy that Kevin knew about Simon, so I don't know what he's so upset about…or what Lucy is so upset about, for that matter. Ruthie asks Kevin if he and Lucy are having sexual problems. Uh, yeah. It's called "not getting any." Kevin tells her that her question is inappropriate. "I'm going through a transitional phase," explains Ruthie. Die, Ruthie, die!

Back down in the kitchen, Simon apologizes to the CamRents for being a rent boy. (See what I just did there?) He then announces his intentions to apologize to BritneyClone and give her a refund. The CamRents nod with approval. "And then I'm going to apologize to all of the other girls and give them their money back," says Simon. The CamRents look confused. D'oh! They didn't know about the others. RevCam is all, "The others?" Annie gives her trademark full-on hag face of disapproval.

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7th Heaven




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