7th Heaven
No Sex, Some Drugs, And A Little Rock And Roll

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now!
Here They Come, Walking Down The Street

Mary yells at Diane over the phone for giving her potentially deadly pills. Diane says that she's been taking them for six months and she's fine. Ugly, but fine. I'm sorry, that was mean of me. Mary says she doesn't feel fine, and begins to rattle off a list of health problems she got last night from the pills. Might I remind you that she was excited about these things and how they could help her game less than twenty-four hours ago. Matt enters Mary's bedroom, so she hangs up on Diane to talk to him. What's funny is that we then see Diane hanging up the phone, then shrugging, getting up, and walking away, all unconcerned that Mary is mad at her. Matt asks Mary if she's okay, then says that Diane must be "some friend" to give Mary those pills. Mary fires back that the reason she took them in the first place was that she saw them in her big brother's room, so she figured they must be safe. Yeah, great research, Mary. "I don't think you're perfect, but I did think that you'd never do anything really stupid. So when I saw those pills in your room it was like an endorsement." Matt actually looks ashamed of himself when she says this, instead of reminding her that she's sixteen and thus perfectly capable of making her own stupid decisions. Then he apologizes, and Mary actually has the nerve to not forgive him even though he really did nothing wrong.

Meanwhile, Simon is trying to form an addiction support group with Lucy and Ruthie. He propose that they should be "support buddies," and help each other fight the urge to give into their respective addictions and provide encouragement. Lucy asks if this means that when she needs to call her support buddy, she'll be able to use the phone. Now, let's think about this one: the support group consists entirely of people residing entirely within one house, a house that, as you've so often pointed out in this episode, has only one phone line. So, no, you won't be using the phone to contact your support buddy. Simon says as much, and Lucy, unwilling to join a club that doesn't offer phone benefits, leaves. Ruthie brattily says that there's no reason for her to join Simon's group because she has no intention of giving up gum-chewing. Then she leaves. Simon walks up to Happy and asks the dog to be his buddy, which was neither cute nor funny, although it was probably supposed to be. RevCam's stupid friends walk up and volunteer to join Simon's club, and Simon tells them what kind of club it is. In his bright pink mock turtleneck, Peter Tork agrees with Bald that the band is "very familiar" with that type of club. Perhaps, Peter Tork, you should consider joining a club for men wearing ugly women's clothing. Its founding member is Phil Keoghan, so at least you'll be in good company.

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7th Heaven




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