7th Heaven
No Sex, Some Drugs, And A Little Rock And Roll

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now!
Here They Come, Walking Down The Street

As Annie chops vegetables in the kitchen like a good little housewife, Eric's ex-band walks in and asks where Eric is. Annie says he had urgent business, but will be back in time for their show tonight. The band says that they know RevCam's "not into" hanging out with them. Annie asserts that this is not the case, but it's obvious that she's lying, so Peter Tork changes the subject. Stupidly, he changes it to her piano playing. Sideburns asks if she wants to "jam" with them at their show. Annie is totally excited to have the chance to jam with such a huge act like The Flower and Vegetable Show on a stage that's probably the back room of Pete's Pizza, but is hesitant, because she's only had seven lessons. The band exchanges looks. Annie realizes that they thought she was much more experienced, and says that she can wait until the next time they come to town. Peter Tork says that they will "figure something out." Annie is so happy that she gives them all giant sandwiches.

Meanwhile, RevCam is on his "urgent business," which is tattling on Diane to her short, stocky father. Diane's dad lets RevCam into his house, which is his first mistake, and says he knows why RevCam is there. He makes another crucial error by telling Eric that he's overreacting about the pills; he takes them himself, although seeing as how he's obviously not the athletic or the studying type, I can't imagine why. Diane's dad is about to start talking about how he bought them from a health store and they're made of "herbs and stuff," but RevCam launches into what is essentially the same PSA we heard him deliver in Matt's room. There is a funny part when Diane's dad opens his mouth to say something, but Eric won't let him talk, and Diane's dad looks annoyed. Apparently RevCam did some reading up between the time he talked to Matt and now, because he has even more ephedrine statistics to yammer on about in his William Shatner way of speaking about Difficult Subjects: "According to the FDA, in the past five years, [pause] three dozen deaths [beat] have been attributedtoephedrine-related supplements. [pause] A lot of those people [pause, sigh] were young, healthy kids whoneverthoughtthat [pause] they were taking something that could kill them or [pause] leave them with permanent disabilities. It's just [sigh, reflective glance downwards] too bad that [pause] people had to die before anyonenoticedhowbad this stuff is." Diane's dad makes a second brave effort to get a word in edgewise, only to once again be struck down by the mighty force of self-righteousness that is Eric Camden as the Reverend lists ephedrine's side effects: "Heart attack, stroke, angina, heart arrhythmias." And yes, despite the fact that I'm too old to, I find it funny when RevCam says "angina." Because, you know, it sounds like "vagina."

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7th Heaven




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