7th Heaven
No Sex, Some Drugs, And A Little Rock And Roll

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Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now!
Here They Come, Walking Down The Street

Mary stomps into the room wearing a sweater that would probably be cool if it wasn't three sizes too big for her, and tells Annie that she'll be staying after school for a basketball practice being held by her teammate, Diane. Even though no one asked her about Diane, Mary proceeds to tell us that Diane is really into basketball this year, and even practices by herself at night after the school practices. Diane must be a very lonely young lady. Annie tells Mary that there's more to life than basketball. This coming from a woman whose brightest moment of the day came when she figured out that lunches could be purchased at school instead of made by her.

A tired Matt drags himself into the kitchen. He was up studying all night and will be spending today in the library with his study group. I'm impressed with Matt; I never studied this much in college. Simon walks into the room like a zombie and heads directly for the coffeemaker, then pours himself a cup. Annie asks him when he started drinking coffee. He says he's really tired. And why is he tired? Ruthie can explain, even though no one asked or wanted her to. She enters the room and says that Simon was up all night talking. As Simon mouths at her to shut up, which is something I often do, although when I do it, it's usually accompanied by the throwing of various items at my TV set, Ruthie says that she has "dolls that talk less than he does, and the dolls I can lock in the trunk." Ruthie, honey, dolls don't "talk." Are they talking to you? Simon beats a hasty retreat out of the kitchen, and Matt follows him.

In the living room, Matt asks Simon if he drank his coffee last night, and Simon admits that he did. Matt lectures that coffee has caffeine in it, which can be addictive. Simon is upset that he is addicted to coffee at the tender age of twelve, at which point Drew Barrymore tells him to get over himself. Matt says he doesn't think Simon can be addicted after just a few cups of coffee, but since this episode is about addiction and how it affects every member of the Camden family, you know he's wrong. Simon says that denial is the first sign of addiction, to which Matt asks what the first sign of mental illness is. I think it's when your dolls start to talk to you. Matt tells Simon that if he doesn't drink anymore coffee, he'll be fine. Simon says he's already fiending for his next fix and that there's a coffee shop on every corner. Matt rolls his eyes.

Back in the kitchen, Annie gives Mary her lunch bag and tells her to have a nice day. Mary notices that the bag is suspiciously light, looks in, and sees the money. She is so happy that I have to wonder just how terrible Annie's lunches are, since school lunches are traditionally nothing to get excited about. During the last two years of my high school experience, our lunch ladies tried to go on strike, but they couldn't because they weren't unionized, so they went on a quasi-strike instead by making the same lunch every day, and that lunch was stale breadsticks with tomato dipping sauce. On the one hand, that was awesome, but on the other hand, I was one of the people who bought lunch, so it sucked. Eventually, I just gave up and spent my lunch money on ice cream, which was more filling and had more variety. Ruthie and Simon take their lunches, and Matt takes the car keys to drive them to school. Annie hands the last lunch bag to Lucy, but Lucy's not there. Annie rectifies this disturbance in her daily routine by picking up the kitchen phone and screaming into it that Lucy needs to come downstairs. A mere two seconds later, Lucy runs up, grabs her lunch bag, and explains that she was just talking to Jordan. Annie points out that she'll be seeing Jordan in school, but Lucy says that that's twenty minutes away, and "a lot can happen in twenty minutes!" Not on this show.

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7th Heaven




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