Johnny shows up at Pete's Pizza, looking almost as haggard as I do. Annie immediately jumps up and starts yelling at him. She's tired of his lack of respect and responsibility. She demands to know what Johnny did to Frankie. Johnny doesn't get a word in edgewise. Annie does let his uncle yell at him a bit, though. Finally it's Johnny's turn to talk. "What's the use? You're never gonna believe me anyway!" he bawls before running out the door. Pete informs us that Johnny's parents haven't been involved in Mercy's life. There's a lesson to be learned there, but at this point I just want to make it to the end of the show.
Mike turns off the infomercial his mother's watching and kneels in front of her. As Lucy watches, he tells his mom that he'll never put her in the hospital because he loves her so freaking much. Lucy's eyes water. Mike glances at her before going on with his intensely personal monologue. He tells his mother that her husband's suicide wasn't her fault. Neither was his near-suicide. He talks about how selfish suicide is, and cries. "I took the pills. I drank the vodka. I locked the door and waited to die. I gave up on life -- me, not you." Et cetera, et cetera. "I want to see you embrace life and stop feeling badly [sic]." After several more days of this, Mike's mother pipes up, saying, "So...you...forgive me?" There are happy words and hugging. Fake tears stream down Lucy's face.
In the hospital waiting room, Simon reflects on the fact that his dad helps people like Mrs. Bink every day. He says that RevCam isn't paid enough. "I don't think he does it for the money," says Matt. Matt's just saying that because he represses the guilt he feels over eating all of RevCam's hard-earned groceries.
Annie has followed Johnny out to the pizza parlor patio, or, as I like to think of it, the Beer-Stealing Atrium. Annie's purse is ugly and out of style as Johnny explains that Frankie ran off to Vegas with her pot dealer. Annie sits down and listens to Johnny fret that he was afraid he'd hurt Mercy in his anger. He left the baby on the CamDoorstep because his own parents don't know anything about his anger-management issues. Annie tells him to swallow his pride and ask his parents for help. Johnny says they'd never understand. Annie says that she already told them the whole story on the phone. Well, that was...um...helpful of her.
Mary gets off her plane and hugs RevCam. He accuses her of expecting Robbie, and she doesn't deny it. He says something about the trouble she's in. After a long, agonizingly boring conversation full of misunderstandings, Mary says, "Happy birthday, Dad." See, it's RevCam's birthday, and that's why Mary's in town. And...wait...that must be why Robbie made a cake! Oh, and...could that be the reason that Annie was so anxious to get Eric out of the house? Could it be that they were planning the whole thing all along? Well, I'll be gosh-darned. I never would have guessed. I never would have seen all this stuff coming from a mile away. Mary tells her dad that she has to catch her return flight soon because of all the delays. Bye, Mary. Don't let the hatch hit you in the ass on your way out. Mary tells her father that she loves him. Fake tears run down his face. He's even wearing pink eyeliner on his lower lids to show us how touched he is. He and Mary hug, and then we fade to the same commercial endcap they've been showing all this time -- the one with the slo-mo of RevCam and his family at a party. So they really are having a party, huh? Imagine that. I'll be a monkey's aunt. Or a cat's.