7th Heaven
One Hundred

Episode Report Card
Gwen: F | Grade It Now!
The family that prays together, pries together

Matt and Simon can't find Mrs. Bink. I see that Matt has a little beaded braid hanging off the back of his head. Forget what I said about his hair looking better. "Mrs. Bink is like the CIA. If she doesn't want to be found, she's not gonna be found," declares Simon. Quit sniffing the nitrous-oxide masks, Simon. John appears and tells the boys that he saw Mrs. Bink going into Radiology. I think they should follow her and butt into her business, then.

Sgt. Michaels is on the phone, telling RevCam that he can't do anything about Mary. "I told you -- your monthly bribe check is in the mail!" says RevCam. Oh, wait -- he actually says, "Can't you stake out the airport?" Sgt. Michaels tells him, "This is Glenoak PD. We don't stake out anything." Ha. Way to get out from under RevCam's thumb, Sgt. Michaels.

In the kitchen, Ruthie prepares baby cereal with bananas. Annie tells her to just spill the beans, because she doesn't have time for this crap. Next we see Annie upstairs, telling Ruthie that she can't keep the baby. Ruthie says something about how she didn't get to keep the kitten or the monkey, either. Again with the cats and the monkeys...Annie wonders to whom the baby could belong. Robbie walks in and says, "What's that pizza lady's baby doing here?" Annie asks if he's sure that it's Frankie's baby. "No offense, because I know all babies are beautiful, but I'd recognize that head anywhere," says Robbie. Ha! Take off your shirt before speaking again, though, Robbie. He says he has to tell Annie "something about Mary." I can still see his shirt. Hello...

Lucy brings in a tray with a variety of sandwiches for Mike's mom to choose from. Mike's mom chooses turkey. Hey, she can move! I don't see how she's going to eat when she has to look at Lucy's ugly sleeveless Fair Isle sweater, though. "I want Mike to put me in a hospital," Mike's mom busts out, out of the blue. "What?" says Lucy. Mike's mother clears her throat and says that she wants Mike to sell their house, get an apartment, and put her in the hospital. Lucy is shocked. She says that she'd imagined that if Mike's mom had talked to her that day, it would be about the weather. "Is it cold out?" asks the no-longer-catatonic one. "Not really," replies Lucy. "I want Mike to put me in a hospital," Mike's mother says, smoothly overlooking her own non sequitur and hitting her point home.

"Come on, my little Spanish friend," says RevCam into the phone. Who is he calling? Antonio Banderas? No, it's only George, who doesn't answer. RevCam hangs up, and then Robbie calls to tell him that Mary's flight is arriving in two hours. He apologizes for having lied and asks RevCam to pick Mary up. RevCam is rude to Robbie, who's babysitting the twins. The Teen Lothario tells RevCam that if, after seeing Mary, RevCam wants Robbie to move out, Robbie will. RevCam hangs up on him and high-tails it to the airport. Then we see Robbie tell Ruthie and the twins that it's time to get the CamPound spic-and-span. How utterly mysterious and unfathomable. However, I notice that this show certainly has a lot of rude hanging-up. That's not very Christian, is it?

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7th Heaven




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