7th Heaven
Paper Or Plastic?

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Sara M: F | Grade It Now!
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Big Big Shop of Horrors

The manager turns to the CamRents and says he's glad everything worked out, and he's really sorry about the elevator. He's so sorry, in fact, that he'll give Lucy anything she wants from his store. I hope she doesn't want a ladder, because apparently this store doesn't have any. Annie and RevCam act touched, but I'm sure they're thinking about how they'll now be able to pay for Ruthie and SamVid's college educations with the money they'll win from the resulting lawsuit. The creepy electrician says he think he's got the elevator working again, and the crowd makes a path for the gurney. Various characters look nervous.

Back from commercial, the manager says that Lucy is "ready" to leave the elevator. Drama queen until the end, our Lucy. The elevator doors open to reveal Lucy holding her new baby. And I will give the show a break for casting an obviously older baby as a newborn and not having it all covered in baby goo, because a lot of shows do that. But since this is 7th Heaven, we also have Lucy, sweat-free, fully clothed, and STANDING UP. She even has her stupid boots on. Did she give birth like that or did she go to all the effort of putting those things back on afterwards? Either way, it's ridiculous. And standing? Are you kidding me? I've never given birth, but I have to imagine that the process leaves a little bit of soreness in the pelvic region that would make one not too eager or even able to stand. That and the fact that it's a fairly exhausting exercise. It's also a messy exercise, although you wouldn't know from looking at the elevator or anyone's clothes, which are totally clean. Perhaps the EMTs, having nothing else to do, did some mopping up. It probably is realistic, though, that Lucy spit out her baby in like a tenth of the time it takes most new mothers, since rapid and frequent baby-delivering is no doubt encoded in her genes.

People are STILL at the baby shower, even though they really should have left when, say, they found out that the guest of honor was not going to be attending. Aunt Millicent says she doesn't want to "just leave" without cleaning everything up. Whatever; if I had been treated so rudely, not only would I NOT clean up, but I would also take all of Annie's meatballs and hide them in various places around the house. If I had enough time, I would sew them into the curtains and the couch upholstery. Soon they would rot and start to smell, but the Camdens would have no idea what the smell was or where it was coming from! Aunt Millicent suggests doing some "rearranging" while they're cleaning. FakeRuthie doesn't think the Camdens would appreciate that, but Aunt Millicent uses the time-honored excuse that it's the church's parsonage, so they can do whatever the hell they want to it. Seeing as sometime like this happens every time the Camdens have a baby shower at the CamPound, you'd think they would just stop holding them there. Joy Behar says she wants to see the garage apartment. Brenda Jr. says she heard there wasn't enough room for a baby up there. All five women make "hmmm!" faces.

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7th Heaven

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