7th Heaven
Paper Or Plastic?

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | Grade It Now!
Big Big Shop of Horrors

"There's still...some presents...in the trunk of the car...that maybe you could...get?" Annie says to RevCam, making some weird gesture with her hands. It seems that the Mackenzie Rosman Odd Pause Delivery Virus is very contagious this week. The presents are from Mary, by the way. "Such a shame she can't be here," Annie says, not really looking all that sad about it. I bet Jessica Biel isn't too sad about it either. RevCam asks Annie if this entire room full of stuff is from them to Lucy. Annie says it is, because that's how people live on a tight budget; they spend a lot of money on new stuff when they could have just given second-hand things or, better yet, made Kevin McMoneybags pay for the stuff for his own damn baby his own damn self. Annie says she can't wait to have a "new baby" in the house, the "old" babies inhabiting it being, of course, Annie and Lucy. RevCam pauses, then wonders aloud if Kevin and Lucy shouldn't be living in their own home soon, even if Annie doesn't want them to leave the CamPound. Annie makes a scary face, then suggests, her tone flat and her jaw set, that they could "build onto" the CamPound. "No. We can't," says RevCam. At this, Annie does her best impersonation of a duck. "No," says RevCam again, but his attempt to flee the room ends in hilarity when he trips over the rocking horse. At least Annie has the decency to not laugh in his face, which I certainly didn't.

Inside some store, Lucy plunks some baby supplies into the waiting arms of Matt. Hey, remember two episodes ago when Lucy made Matt go grocery shopping with her? Well, it's just like that, except with ugly electric green onesies instead of spicy garlic green beans. Lucy asks a passing store employee where she can find baby blankets. Because when you only have a few hours to buy all the baby essentials, why not waste some of it on a blanket? I'm just glad that the nursing bra shopping scene presumably took place off-camera. The store employee tells directs them to the linen department on the second floor, because why would a store keep all baby items in one location when they could put some things upstairs, thus necessitating the need to use a broken elevator? Store Employee says he'd be happy to show Lucy and her "husband" to the baby blanket department, because that's the kind of personal attention you would never, ever get in a department store. Lucy clarifies that Matt is not her husband. She does not, however, continue to explain that he's actually her brother, because that would mean we couldn't have yet another "hilarious" scene where someone thinks that the CamSibs are doing each other. These have been occurring quite frequently as of late ["and started occurring in the pilot, for God's sack" -- Sars], and I'm starting to wonder if the writers are trying to hint at something. By the end of the episode, they will have done more than that. As the store employee, who I'm just going to call Frank from now on, leads them away, Lucy blabbers out an explanation about how she is married, but she can't wear her ring because her hands are swollen. Frank rolls his eyes and tries not to shoot himself in the face.

The three enter an elevator, and Frank presses the button for the second floor. Instead, the button for the first floor lights up and the doors open. Frank tries again and it happens again. And again. Frank explains that they have a new elevator and it's a "little tricky." I think it's more "broken" than "tricky," but let's not argue semantics, as this elevator is the only way for Matt and Lucy to get to the second floor, the escalators this store is also said to have apparently being one of Satan's toys. Finally, the elevator reaches the second floor. Lucy asks Matt why he isn't wearing his wedding ring. He makes something up about how he and PC don't wear their wedding bands at work because PC "has her reasons." "But we don't care," says Matt, "we're in love, we're married -- things are great! We don't need wedding bands." Oh, man. Matt and PC are so divorced it's not even funny. Well, it is a little funny.

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7th Heaven




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