7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: C+ | 263 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Pathetic

The show opens pleasantly, for a change, with Annie quitting her job. This bodes well for the youth of Glenoak, who no longer will be subjected to those useless classes in which she ostensibly teaches her odious CamMorals. Mrs. Mackoul is obviously not very cool at all, since she'd been planning on offering Annie a full-time job. She cites the school's expansion, obliquely referring to recent terrorism -- I assume -- when she says, "With everything going on in the world, parents want the added security of a private school, and we've had so many requests for admission that we're expanding." Now that CNN has finally stopped calling all their news broadcasts "America's New War" in my onscreen programming guide, I suppose it's about time for 7th Heaven to weigh in on last year's events somehow. I really wish they wouldn't, though. Glenoak is such a damn fantasyland anyway. Virtually nothing else is even remotely realistic on the show, so why can't Brenda just leave well enough alone? If you're going to do material centered on truly momentous topics, and you know you're not up to the task, maybe you shouldn't even try. Anyone who's ever seen the movie Swing Kids will know exactly what I'm talking about. But don't mind me. I'm just feeling extra-jittery about next week's show right now. Annie's not jittery, though. In fact, she's so calm throughout this scene that I have to wonder if she's doped up.

Out in the school hallway, Ruthie is waiting patiently for her mom. Suddenly her eyes go all buggy as she stares up at a sad-looking woman who's walking toward her. It's Ms. Riddle, the teacher who called Ruthie stupid back in public school. With barely concealed rudeness, Ruthie wants to know what the hell Ms. Riddle is doing in her new school. What do you think she's doing there, Ruthie? You should know by now that the show's producers can't be bothered to find new bad guest actors to make the regulars look better, so they just keep bringing back the old bad ones. Unfortunately, I'm sure it's just a matter of time before we'll be making the re-acquaintance of such luminaries as Chickenhead and Jimmy Plywood. Ms. Riddle tells Ruthie that she'll be teaching in her school now. Ruthie's eyes go even buggier to signify that this scene is comic.

The "comedy" continues in The Opening Credits Time-Waster, which consists of Ruthie opening and closing all the drawers in the CamKitchen.

7th Heaven