The piano plays the woeful, whimsical tune of hijinks. Sitting in a car in the church parking lot, Eric and Rabbi Lewis sit and read RevLite's sermon. Is two men turning a page at the same time supposed to be funny? Barry Watson thinks so. The sermon is pronounced "not bad." But maybe RevLite can't speak in public! Maybe that's his "Achilles heel"! Eric is all, let's go see what he's got.
It seems that Chandler...Hampton has taken oratory lessons from William Shatner. He rushes through most of a phrase, and slowly punches the remaining words in the sentence. Eric and Rabbi Lewis listen dully. "Throughoutthislittleepistle, hecallsforsuchthings as...prayer...study...and attentiveness to the needy." Rabbi Lewis has his head cocked to one side, his tongue slightly protruding. He looks like me. Wow, I'm actually being literally preached to! I hate it. Eric nods his head, rapt. The kid is good, I guess. He makes me want to run, which is how I've felt any other time I was in church. So, he's churchy, all right. He must have the joy, joy, joy, joy down in his heart. Where? Down in his heart, to-dayy! RevLite continues his right pretty speechifying about the love of money being evil, not money itself, and Eric turns to Rabbi Lewis, who says, "On top of everything else, the kid has a nice head of hair. So can you drive me to the hospital?" He really looks ill. So do I.
Kevin and Roxanne pull over another speeder. Roxanne sighs and rolls her eyes. She's bored. Like me. Kevin explains that people use this road as a "shortcut," and writing tickets will "send a message." Actually, a parked cop car sends a better message to more people. So why don't you three park and play Monopoly or something? Inside a zippy red sports car is a toothy brunette in a faux-hide jacket that looks like one of the skinnier and more tasteless American Idol contestants should be wearing it. Oh, who am I kidding -- any of those tools would wear that tacky Pocahontas nightmare. The girl is all, "Kevin Kincaide?" Kevin is all, "Mindy Kincaide?" They laugh, and she leaps out of her car and hugs the shit out of him. They kiss, he squeezes her, and she squeals. So, they're cousins, right? Sexy cousins? Inside the squad car, Roxanne and Simon watch with interest. Barf, is that you? Oh my god, I haven't seen you in so long! Wow, you haven't changed at all!