RevCam walks up behind this non-blistering "debate," hand still over his heart in the most unsubtle of gestures, and does not say what everyone is thinking, which is: Who the hell are you people and what are you doing in my house? Do you have business here? No? Then there's the door. Use it. Eric says, dully, as if in pain, "Stop!" The little Muslim girl asks, "Who's the better team? The Yankees or the Mets?" Rabbi Lewis: "Mets!" Little girl: "Yankees!" Me: "Tastes great!" Eric says stupidly, "That's what you were arguing about? Baseball?" No, the Yankees and the Mets are secret code for Jews and Muslims. Fooled you. Eric can't weigh in on such an important topic, says he "has to go now," and wanders away. In his living room, the debate rages on. Rabbi Lewis says that even the Mets' bobble-head dolls beat the Yankees. You know, this debate sucks. I have to say I hate the Mets (I live in Philadelphia; they'll kill me if I say otherwise), and I hate rooting for a winning team like the Yankees; I hate the Lakers for the same reason. I'll have to follow Eric's route and slink out so Sars, baseball freak of all time, doesn't wear out her lungs on me.
Credits. Seeeaa-venth heaven! When I see their happy faces, smilin' back at me...seeeaa-venth heaven! Where can you gooo! When the world don't treat you right? The answer is hoooome! Mmmm! Seeeaa-venth heaven! Woof!
Eric stares, puzzled, at Rabbi Lewis, who washes fruit in the kitchen sink. Eric is probably wondering, "Doesn't he have a wife to wash fruit for him?" Or, "Wow, look at that Jew wash his fruit. Yes, the Jews: they love clean fruit, all right. That, and their women don't like to have sex that much. Plus, they run the entertainment industry and control all the money. Did you know that HBO stands for Hebrew Box Office? Well, it does. Oh, shit, the Jew is talking. I'd better pretend to listen." Rabbi Lewis apologizes for not coming over earlier to check in on Eric. It's just that he was so busy what with subbing over at the church and checking in on his own "flock." Then he goes on a little riff on what a cool word "flock" is. "Fff-loc-K." Rabbi Lewis looks totally Amish, by the way, in his blue shirt and black vest. Hey, Rabbi Lewis, where's your horse and buggy? Got any weed? Get thyself back to Curb Your Enthusiasm, and go and suck no more. He says that Eric looks good, as good as a guy that only had a single bypass. Ha ha, not. So, will he have to sub this Sunday? No -- "the church hired a replacement." Eric grits his teeth at the thought. Rabbi Lewis says if he wasn't doing a good enough job as a Rabbi holding church services, he wishes that someone would have told him. Ooh, I'll do it. Richard? Mr. Lewis? This is terrible. And not just you! The whole thing is really, really bad. Please end it now. End the suffering. Eric says Rabbi Lewis was replaced as his replacement because he was replaced. "Only they call it 'helping.'" I had no idea religion was this political. Actually, yes I did. What I really didn't know that the politics of religion could be this dull. Like, wow, RevEric feels usurped. I bet every time that happens, the Pope orders another set of pointy hats. And the Pope is hip-high in hats, if you get my meaning.