"Hello, It's Me" continues. Jake and Ruthie do what I call the Frankenstein dance. You know, arms straight out, stiffly. Shuffling back and forth from one foot to the other. "Uhhnn!"s are optional. Bolts on neck also optional. Annie freaks out on them, and they quickly pull apart. Ruthie says the dance "seals the deal on their exclusivity agreement." Jake says he'll be going now.
The phone rings inside RevEric's office. RevLite pauses, then answers it. Hello? Wouldn't it be great if "Hello, It's Me" started up, and we heard the muffled screams of the dying from inside the CamPound? Then, the tapping of an axe and the whispers of the twins swearing that Chandler is next? Just a thought. It's Eric, calling from the hospital, imitating a woman's voice. He quizzes Chandler, but Chandler can tell it's Eric. He says he can do whatever anyone wants him to do, except go back where he came from. That Chandler is creepy. Eric needs a ride home from the hospital.
Eric and Chandler wearily walk up to the CamPound together. They run through a few lies. Can Chandler tell Annie he called and asked Eric come to the church and hear his sermon? Chandler is all, why wouldn't I go to you? Why can't you just say the rabbi had a heart attack? Because the rabbi doesn't want his own wife to know what happened, and Annie is supposed to think they had a relaxing day in the park. Eric is all, don't judge me. Well, then don't act like an idiot. The front door opens, and Annie starts up the Naggin' Wagon. Where have you been? Oy. Chandler is all, gotta go. Annie thanks him for his help. Eric is quick to point out that he was no help, and that he doesn't want or need any help from Chandler, and he shouldn't think that they had a bonding experience. Oh, and Rabbi Lewis is in the hospital, but he told his wife that he's sleeping over at the CamPound. Why the lie? Because Eric "owes him." And why is that? Because they were at the church, not spying, but "checking up" on Chandler. Annie asks, "Who are you?"
Simon and Kevin walk up. Simon says cryptically, "There's a reason why Lucy gets told stuff last. She's...crazy." And ugly. Don't forget ugly. Kevin sees Eric and tells him to "try this on for size." That sounds dirty.
Ruthie and Yasmin are on the phone. Yasmin says she's sorry for leaving, and that she should have insisted that Jake leave when she did. Ruthie says it's okay, and that she was "put on restriction for two weeks." It's her "first official restriction." She says she feels like a grown-up. Yasmin sighs and congratulates her, wordlessly adding, "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't worship such a stupid God." Ben asks me, "Is this little Muslim girl a recurring character, or is the CamPound supposed to be some kind of interfaith flophouse where all the other religions come over and realize that Christianity is best?" The only person who steps into the CamPound and realizes that Christianity is good would be retarded. Have there been any "retards are good" theme episodes? You know, like all those times the Special Olympics came to Baywatch? There were a lot of midgets on Baywatch, too. This show should take more cues from Baywatch. Ruthie gets off the phone and goes and tells her mom she called Yasmin. Didn't you just pop a tiny girl boner over the fact that your phone privileges were taken away? Annie says she "can tell by [Ruthie's] attitude that [she] can't tell that [her] actions have consequences." I can tell that Ruthie comes from good, solid bitch stock.