As Lucy walks up the stairs to the Treehouse of Lurv, a graphic advertising the upcoming season premiere of Smallville pops onto the lower half of my screen, filling it with flashing gold trails of light. It's a good thing I have no emotional investment in the show it's disrupting, or else I'd be pissed. Lucy hears the sound of girlish giggling and follows it to her bathroom, where she sees Kevin and Chandler hunkered over a stolen copy of Playboy. Or The Kid. Lucy is rather surprised to see her, and asks where Kevin is. The question is answered by its subject, as Kevin comes barreling up the stairs, yelling for some person named "Hayley." Oh, I guess Hayley is The Kid's name. Too bad; I was kind of hoping that we would never find out her first name, just like we'll never know her grandfather's. Kevin meanly yells at Hayley to come out of the bathroom, then tells her off about how hide-and-seek is "not a good game to play with a babysitter," and possibly not "a good game to play at all." What? I've had my own problems with the game, as I've said before, but I hold no grudge; hide-and-seek is tons of fun, and it's a great game to play with your babysitter. Anyways, Kevin should be happy that Hayley gave him a chance to test out the infrared sensors he had installed in his visual cortex last week. Hayley asks Kevin to turn his anger down a couple notches because he's scaring her. Kevin tries to make a point about how his adult self frightening a small child is analogous to said small child playing a fun kid's game that said adult doesn't want to play, even though said adult ditched said small child beforehand. He says that he's going to tell on Hayley to her grandfather. She tries to convince him not to, but he will not be moved. Lucy says that they've made the right choice in waiting a while to have children. Well, obviously. It will be a while before that care-taking subroutine they programmed into Kevin's mainframe takes full effect.
SamVid sleeps and dreams of a family that pays attention to it as Simon enters his room. He notices a makeshift tent on his bed and is curious to see what's inside it. Curiosity seriously irritates the cat as the occupant of the tent is revealed to be Asslee. Simon doesn't understand why she's there; he thought they already said their goodbyes. Asslee pathetically tries to get back with him, but Simon says that he's probably going to go away soon, as the PK from the Board of Ed knows another PK at some arts school in northern California, and so the original gangsta PK helped Simon make a video to appeal to the admissions board. Would this be a good time to mention how, in college, I lived with a PK who liked to scream out during sex, "You're fucking a minister's daughter!"? I guess there's never a good time to mention that. Oh well! Asslee asks if the CamRents are going to let him leave; Simon says that they don't know about it. "Don't know about what?" RevCam asks. Of course, he was spying on his son from the hallway. Asslee takes off, stopping at RevCam to get a "thanks" for her babysitting services, but no actual money. Sucker! RevCam walks in and says to Simon that "[he] didn't mean to overhear," all the while hastily trying to hide his long-range recording device in his back pocket. RevCam says that Det. Michaels is waiting for Simon on the porch. What, they don't let the poor guy come in the house? They let all other kinds of riff-raff inside, like Ed Begley, Jr.