Simon walks over to Jake and takes a knee next to his lap. I really thought that Simon was going to offer sexual favors in exchange for a way into college, but he actually just wanted to tell Jake his car accident sob story. Simon says that he needs to get out of Glenoak because everyone is "looking" at him because his dad is a minister. "PK, huh? Preacher's Kid?" asks Jake. It turns out that he was one, too, and it got him into Harvard because that was the only non-seminary school his dad would accept him going to. This is the second time Jake has mentioned his alma mater to a complete stranger in as many minutes. I think he might be just a little too proud of himself. Anyway, now that Jake knows that Simon is, like him, a Starship Captain's Kid -- I mean, "Preacher's Kid," he suddenly has more educational options for him. He says that there are a few places Simon can appeal to for immediate admission, contingent upon his passing the CHSPE. Simon asks if these places are far away. Jake says that they are, and some of them even have PKs in the admissions office. Even so, Simon will have to make a "heck of a personal appeal." Simon asks if Jake has any suggestions. They stand around awkwardly and wait for the scene to fade out.
RevCam runs around the kitchen as Ruthie enters. She asks him if he's seen Peter, but he hasn't. He's willing to start up a search party for him, but Ruthie says that he's probably at his real home, doing his homework. Eric asks how school was today, and Ruthie brightly responds that it was great. Eric's dubious about this. Ruthie says that algebra was not so great. RevCam offers his assistance, but it turns out that he doesn't know anything about quadratic polynomials. Fortunately, sudden math genius Paris does know about them, and she offered to help Peter and Ruthie with their homework after dinner. RevCam says that he needs to go to the church for a while and was hoping that Ruthie could watch the boys. Ruthie says that she would be happy to, as long as Eric understands that this will cause her to fail algebra and ultimately end up like Mary. Terrified at the thought of another child living a happy life away from his careful supervision, RevCam caves and says he'll ask someone else to babysit.
Ruthie goes upstairs, where she sees Simon in the hallway. Simon's hairstyle has changed dramatically between this scene and the last; before it was all swooped back into a pompadour-mullet, and now it's parted in the middle and brushed down. Neither way is flattering, but this one is slightly better. Simon asks her how school is going. He asks if anyone has said anything to Ruthie about the accident, since the kid he killed was her age. Huh? All this time, I thought he was on a motorcycle and was Simon's age! Now he's a bike-riding eighth-grader? That's a lot different! Maybe if I had been privileged enough to see the accident as it occurred, I wouldn't have been carrying this gross misconception around for the past three weeks. Simon says that it's easier for him because he's not in school. Ruthie hugs him and says that "no one has it harder than [Simon]." That sounded kind of dirty, but I'll let it pass, since it's one of the rare loving family moments this show has. Simon tells Ruthie that if anyone says anything to her, he'll take care of him. I wonder if he would take that statement back if he saw Biggiesize. Ruthie says she doesn't think anyone in her school even knows about the accident, since PaulSmith didn't go to her school (which begs the question, why not? How many middle schools does Glenoak have?), then leaves to call Peter.