Upstairs, Ruthie and Lucy are still engaging in some tacky speculation over their sister's personal life. Ruthie suggests they call Wilson and "find out what happened from the horse's mouth." But really, isn't Wilson more of a horse's ass? Lucy is taking the stance that Mary will fill them in on the details in her own good time, which is really very irritating, implying that it's actually the family's business to know. Ruthie insists that even if Mary tells them what happened between her and Wilson, they might not be able to believe her. Okay, that may very well be true, but, um who the fuck cares? Gawd, Ruthie, get a freakin' life. And cover up that revolting shirt you're wearing. Is it even legal to subject viewers to a shirt with a pink poodle on it unless there's an advisory at the beginning of the show? Ruthie just keeps right on babbling away inappropriately about Mary, suggesting that the older girl has been living in sin with Wilson. When Lucy is skeptical, Ruthie says, "We don't know her. We don't know who she is or where she's been or what she's done." Yes, and if you stop prying, Ruthie, maybe you'll be fortunate enough never to find out any more about Mary and her loathsome life. Count your blessings, you little troll. We viewers haven't been as fortunate.
SuperMom's checking on the special pot roast when Mary walks into the CamKitchen. Mary has put her stuff into the twins' room so that she won't "be in anyone's way." What, the twins don't count as people? Isn't she in their way? Annie tries to convince Mary that she's not in anyone's way. She even offers her the garage apartment. You know the rest of the kids are going to be pissed over that, but in a way, it might be the best thing for everybody. If Mary has her own apartment, everyone else will have to see less of her, and that certainly provides the greatest good for the greatest number of people. Annie leads her off to check out the apartment.
RevCam comes downstairs, shouting to Annie as he enters the kitchen. That's a little insulting to assume that she spends all her time in the kitchen. I know she's pregnant a lot of the time, and I have no idea if she tends to walk around barefoot, but I've definitely seen her in lots of rooms other than the kitchen. Ruthie comes in and asks RevCam if this week's sermon will be about the prodigal son -- a parable that's never made a whole lot of sense to me. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, I'll boil it down quickly. A father has two sons, between whom he divides his estate. The younger brother goes off to squander his inheritance. When it's all gone, he comes home again, and his father welcomes him with great fanfare. You know -- the fatted calf and all. The older son is peeved because he's loyally worked for his father all this time, and never received so much as a goat. When he complains, his father says, "'Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to make merry and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found'" (Luke 15:31-2).