So. Here we are. It's time for the special Valentine's Day 7th Heaven Musical Extravaganza or whatever the WB is hyping this episode as. Not wanting to suffer alone, and knowing very little about music and musicals, I had Pamie and Djb check this episode out and give me their opinions. Unfortunately, the horribleness of it rendered them incapable of speech. Then one of Pam's cats threw up. True story.
It's morning in the CamPound, and the Violins and Harps of This Is A Musical Episode, Sort Of, play us into the CamBoudoir, where Annie is sleeping and RevCam is gathering up the laundry. He throws together a load of whites, but in his zest to be quiet and not awaken the sleeping dragon, he puts a pair of red socks in there, too. I'm sad to report that THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER. In fact, it will be the A-plot of this episode.
RevCam makes his way downstairs, humming a tune as he puts the laundry in the washing machine without even checking to make sure that it's all whites. I mean, if you can't see a pair of BRIGHT RED SOCKS in the middle of whatever beige crap the Camdens normally wear, you should probably not be doing laundry. Anyway, the twins come downstairs and start to raid the fridge and cabinets. Having started up the amazingly quiet washing machine, RevCam returns to the kitchen, where the twins tell him to quit humming because they'll wake Annie up, and they're supposed to be making her a surprise pancake breakfast in bed. Ew. The day I make breakfast in bed for someone else on my birthday is the day I have been sold into white slavery. The twins ask if perhaps they might be able to partake of the pancake breakfast, and RevCam generously says that they can make enough pancakes for everyone, and they might even be accompanied by "some nice fatty bacon." Ruthie enters and angrily snarls at her father that his heart problems were caused by him having too much bacon in the first place, so why the hell is he having some now? RevCam says today is a special day, as if just because it's Valentine's Day, his body is immortal. RevCam adds that the dry toast he usually eats for breakfast doesn't seem romantic. "And bacon is?" says Ruthie. Whatever, Ruthie. I plan to marry bacon just as soon as those gays get the right to marry and then the entire institution of marriage is totally destroyed. Because it tastes good. Also, if RevCam wants to be so selfish as to eat dangerous foods such as bacon and clarified butter, caring more about his taste buds than the young children he'll be leaving behind, then I think he should be allowed to go right on ahead.