The Opening Credits Timewaster has gotten jazzified. Ruthie and her crappy boots walk down the hallway and watch various couples making out. Get a room, guys. Then the name "Polly Cusumano" pops up as a guest star, and Djb gets all excited because it turns out he went to school with her. This means that the actress is ten years older than the character she's supposed to be playing. And she looks it, too. Good casting, guys. Back to Ruthie, she walks by Vincent, who is walking with some blonde girl. Ruthie is so shocked that she walks into Martin. He asks her what's with her bad mood when it's Valentine's Day and she has a boyfriend. Ruthie says that Vincent hasn't called her in three days. Martin gives her a pat on the shoulder as consolation, but is interrupted by Zoe, who wants to give him a Valentine and an apology. They walk away together.
Ruthie walks to her locker, and just how many times does she need to go there anyway? Wasn't she just there before the credits? But I guess she has to go there to turn on the tape player for the instrumental accompaniment for her upcoming musical number, "Nice Work If You Can Get It." You may recognize this as the theme to Cybill, performed by Cybill Shepherd. And you probably thought that that was the worst version of this song you'd ever hear, but that was then and this is now. And right now, Ruthie is singing with her old lady French accent voice and oh my dear god, she's also dancing. For those of you who are fortunate enough not to have seen it, her "dance" "moves" are best described as similar to that dance in Michael Jackson's "Thriller" music video, at the part where the girl turns around and suddenly Michael Jackson is one of the zombies and his red jacket has also been zombified, and then Michael and the rest of the Zombie Dancers start doing that shoulder-twitch dance. It's kind of like that. And then Ruthie sits on a counter and starts wriggling around on that, which makes me very, very uncomfortable because I thought child pornography was against the law and this is getting really close to it. Eventually, Ruthie jumps off the counter and starts skip-walking towards the camera, throwing her shoulders up on every off-beat, and trying to look "sexy." Meanwhile, the girl isn't even trying to lip-sync anymore, so entire words go by without her even opening her mouth. She ends the song with a nice little butt wriggle that we get to see from behind, like, thanks for that, say the pedophiles who probably watch this show religiously now, and then she walks away. Painful.