And now we're looking at Simon making out with...ANNIE? Oh, no, it's not Annie; it's just yet another one of Simon's girlfriends who looks a disturbing amount like her. Also, this is the actress Djb knew. Pamie and I asked him if she used to talk without moving any part of her face when he knew her like she does now, but he couldn't remember. Annie McFrozenface breaks off the make-out session, saying that even though it's Valentine's Day, she doesn't want to have the sex with someone she just met. Simon agrees. The two exchange lovey-dovey crap about falling in love with each other immediately. Annie2 rasps that she wants to take a trip to Glenoak, to see the place that Simon told her about when they spent all of last night talking. Simon says he'd love to go to Glenoak, but he'd also like to avoid seeing his family. So they make plans to drive for hours and hours to Simon's boring-ass hometown. That's a stupid reason to get Simon back in Glenoak. If they were so desperate to have him in this episode, couldn't they have just said he was visiting for his brothers' birthday and brought his new girlfriend with him?
Lucy tells Kevin that Savannah is both sleeping and eating more. Then she demands to know why Kevin is putting his police uniform on. Kevin says he is going to work. Lucy cannot believe that her husband is working on Valentine's Day. "What am I supposed to do?" she asks, doing a few hair flips of co-dependence and eye rolls of pathetic-ocity. Kevin says Lucy can amuse herself with her new-ass baby while he works to pay for their new mansion. Lucy says the mansion already is paid off (I really resent the fact that Lucy, even though she's fictional, apparently has more money than I do. I really, really do) and that she hasn't even seen it yet. Kevin patiently explains that that is Lucy's fault, seeing as he has offered to show it to her many times and she has said no. Seriously. "So?" Lucy asks, saying that the reason she hasn't seen the mansion is because she's with the baby that Kevin apparently forced her to have. Except that it takes two to do that, darling, and you're the one who I'm pretty sure lied about taking her birth control to get pregnant in the first place. So SHUT UP. Kevin bends over to give her a placating kiss on the cheek, but she turns away. What a bitch. Lucy tells Kevin that if he loved her, he wouldn't be "abandoning" her on Valentine's Day. Kevin says he loves Lucy three hundred and sixty-five days a year, but since he didn't include the extra leap year days, that probably isn't good enough for Lucy.