Kevin finds Martin getting his baseball equipment ready for practice. He tells Martin that he didn't mean for Martin to go home with Martha, to which Martin, sounding irritated, replies that all they did was talk, so Kevin can relax. Kevin says that if they did anything more than that, it would be illegal, which...would it? Isn't it only illegal if they actually have sex? Aren't there things that come in between talking and sex? I mean, even in the CamUniverse, they have making out. Martin snaps that impersonating a police officer is also against the law, but thanks to Kevin, he's guilty of that. If I were Kevin, I'd go and arrest Martin for impersonating a police officer, but Kevin just stands there as Martin walks away from the Honda Element he bought with the twenty thousand-plus dollars I guess he has lying around.
Ben's hanging out at the police station, looking through Kevin's paperwork, and how is he even allowed back there? Capt. Michaels walks up and rightly asks if whatever Ben has to say to Kevin can't wait until Kevin gets home, to which Ben replies that he doesn't want to have the conversation in front of Lucy, even though he just told her what he was going to talk to Kevin about. Of course, Capt. Michaels thinks Ben is talking about Kevin cheating on Lucy, so he says he doesn't want to talk to Ben in front of the entire station, and pulls him back about ten feet to a much more private location which is still in the middle of the station and surrounded by officers. Capt. Michaels says the fact that Kevin is cheating on Lucy makes him question Kevin's entire character, and that he's known Lucy since she was a baby so he'd be pissed if Kevin hurt her feelings. It's sort of a conflict of interest, Kevin's boss being bestest friends with Kevin's father-in-law, isn't it? Good thing Capt. Michaels is so professional about it. He tells Ben that he made Kevin work tonight so that Kevin couldn't be with Martha, but he wants Kevin to stop cheating and to tell Lucy the truth. Ben's like "whatever."
Nighttime at the CamPound. RevCam's making dinner since Catherine Hicks hasn't done more than three scenes an episode since, like, Season Five. Martin comes in, and RevCam says he wants to talk to him. Martin says he's had enough lectures for one day, but when RevCam's around, you can never have enough lectures. Nor will your opinions actually count. RevCam begins: "I don't want to give you the 'my house, my rules' speech, but if you're living in my house, you have to live by my rules." Martin's all, "Then maybe I won't live in your stupid house anymore," which just flummoxes RevCam. Ha! RevCam says Martin's dad would never let Martin live by himself, but it turns out that Martin knows more about his father's intentions than the guy who's only met his father once, and he reveals that he and his father talked about Martin becoming emancipated once and decided not to go through with it, but maybe it's the right thing to do now. RevCam tries to piss on Martin's parade by asking if Martin has the income necessary to become emancipated, and is again flummoxed when Martin says he does: his mother's life insurance money. Didn't RevCam, like, notice that Martin was buying new SUVs? He's too shocked to say anything, so he just starts to cry. Martin still has plenty to say, though, like about how he's ten months away from being a legal adult, and not too much is going to change between then and now, so he's really just as much of a responsible adult now than he will be when he turns eighteen. He says that he shouldn't have to rely on his family to make decisions for him since they aren't around, and he shouldn't rely on the Camdens since they aren't his family. Martin storms off, leaving RevCam with his tears.