Over at Pete's Pizza, Robbie is nowhere to be seen, and Lucy is regaling his date with stories about Robbie's evil past. You'd think Joanne would be a little suspicious of all this -- especially when Lucy talks about Robbie's "obsessive love" for Mary and points out that Joanne looks rather like Mary -- but evidently Joanne is kind of stupid. ["She's on a date with Robbie. Case closed." -- Sars] She just reacts in horror to everything Lucy is telling her. I would have thought that reminiscing about what a dirtbag Robbie has been might be a bit of a turn-off to Lucy herself, but no. When Joanne takes off, Lucy just sits at the table, waiting for Robbie to come back. She's smiling smugly, as if what she's just done is something to be proud of. Sigh. I guess I'm just never going to understand wholesome family values.
At the pool hall, Lynn is lying in wait for Simon, and she accosts him as soon as he walks in. Simon asks her to leave him alone, but Lynn kisses him instead. The poor girl is forced to spout lines like, "I like you, and I know you like me." I can't say she does a really good job with those lines, but making dialogue like that sound natural is probably above the abilities of even the greatest actors. Gack! It gets so much worse. Lynn says, "I'm usually loyal and trustworthy, and all that stuff, but I just saw you in that hallway, and I don't know, Simon, I felt something for you, instantly." Fortunately, she shuts up and goes back to kissing Simon. He says he instantly felt something for her too. I'm not sure what possesses him to say that Morris should hear that from him, rather than Lynn. After all, Lynn is the one who's dating Morris.
Dopey and Cheryl meet on the Promenade. Cheryl is wearing a print dress of her grandmother's, and her hair is pulled back so tightly, it looks like she just got a facelift. After a little introductory chitchat, Dopey and Cheryl both say, "I think we should " Except Dopey finishes his sentence with " break up," while Cheryl says they should get married. They are both a little confused now, which should came as no great surprise to anyone who knows them. Cheryl says that, after talking to RevCam, she realized that marriage would be a better idea than breaking up. Instead of freaking out because his girlfriend has been going to his father for relationship advice, Dopey invokes The Great RevCam himself, saying that he thought his father wanted them to break up. Maybe instead of discussing their relationship with each other, they should give RevCam a call and clear that up. Dopey nobly ditches Cheryl, but not before asking if she really wanted to get married. She says, "Yes, and no. I thought if we got married, then we'd be together more. But getting married means that I would be a lonely wife instead of a lonely girlfriend." Once again, I'm so glad to see how seriously everyone takes the allegedly lifelong commitment of marriage on this show. Isn't Dopey about twenty-one now? And how many times has he almost gotten married? In any case, Dopey and Cheryl agree that their relationship is over, but that they will "keep the door open." Oh, great -- I can see that paving the way for plenty of guest appearances from Cheryl every time Dopey even thinks of dating another woman. I guess this gives the writers a plot they can use -- and reuse -- for Dopey while he finishes off his last year on the show. Maybe that will keep them from trying to give us more storylines where he thinks he's a doctor, rather than just a not-even-in-med-school-yet orderly. At least Cheryl can date someone else now and give her vibrator a rest.