7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: D+ | Grade It Now!

Lucy has used her special Camden stalking abilities to track down Robbie and his date, Joanne, at Pete's Pizza. She finagles an invitation from Joanne to sit down, while Robbie watches in horror. ["'Joanne'? What's with these names? 'Joanne' and 'Lynn' -- they sound like forty-year-olds. No offense to forty-year-olds, of course; it's just that women born after, say, 1965 don't tend to have those names." -- Sars]

Cheryl calls Dopey to talk about "'us' things." When Dopey says they should be talking face to face, Cheryl says she has to work but can meet him on the Promenade in an hour. An hour? Considering she has yet to even get to work, I want to know just how long her shift is. Twenty minutes?

Mary and her hot new friend are studying. Mary complains that her brain is starting to hurt. Isn't that a little like me complaining that my penis hurts? I'd think that in order for a body part to hurt, you'd at least have to have that part somewhere on your body. Mary suggests a study break and asks her friend why he wants to become a firefighter. He explains that his firefighter father died when he was ten. Mary, very reasonably, assumes that he wants to follow in his father's footsteps. Not quite. The guy says, "When my dad died, the way I saw it, the fire killed him. Ever since then, I've hated fire for taking my dad away. So for a guy who hates fire, being a firefighter seemed like the right way to go." Wow, what total 7th Heaven logic. I'm not overly crazy about young children or phys ed, so maybe I should be a gym teacher. Sounds good, huh? Mary explains how becoming a firefighter is basically a whim to her, even though she tries to dress it up so it sounds like it's something she really wants to do. She feels compelled to tell him that her grandparents are away for the weekend, which is probably just a way to explain to the audience that the producers couldn't afford to bring in any big guest stars after paying for the super-fabulous Ed Begley last week. I'm just glad I won't have to see the Colonel.

At the Glenoak pool hall, Sean/Morris walks off to get his woman another drink. Lynn takes the opportunity to sidle up to Studly Simon and run the back of her hand over his. I'm madly taking notes so that I can duplicate her flirting style. I'm really hoping she bats her eyelashes next. Simon uncomfortably says that he is going outside to smoke. Lynn expresses some surprise that he smokes. He says, "No, I don't. But if I did, would that get you to leave me alone?" Of course not! Lynn is a bad girl, and she will get her comeuppance. Oh, Lynn, when will you learn? If you want a guy to like you, you wait for him to make the first move!

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7th Heaven




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