7th Heaven
Say A Little Prayer For Me

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Say A Little Prayer For Me

In the nursery, Ruthie's bitching that having her own pony isn't the same as riding one around a little ring. It certainly isn't. When I was Ruthie's age, I wanted a horse - no mere pony for me. I bothered my dad about it. I even perused the livestock section in the classifieds every Sunday. Instead of buying me a horse, my dad took us to Kiddie Wonderland several times. You could ride ponies there. I enjoyed that, but it wasn't the same as galloping across a field on your on fiery steed. When I was eighteen, I moved away for college and met a man. I eventually moved in with that man. That man's niece owned a horse. I got to ride the horse on their ranch one day. The horse was slow and sulky and the ride was a bore. Later my man took me to the coast. We rented horses on the beach. My horse was even sulkier than the niece's. It plodded half the route, and ran like a maniac to get home after that. I screamed in fear. My butt hurt for days afterwards. I've never wanted to ride a horse since. I don't remember whether I ever asked God for a horse, but if I did, I'm apologizing for it now.

Lucy tells her mom that she's taking the twins on an outing. Annie thanks her warmly. Lucy invites Ruthie along. "Hello? What if the pony comes and I'm out for a stroll?" asks Rude-y, who then leaves. Lucy tells her mother that she's had all she can take with everyone's prayers and she wishes RevCam had never brought up the subject. "Well, he did, and it's a very interesting subject," says StuporMom with no conviction at all. Some minister's wife you are, Annie!

RevCam is bugging people door-to-door as a mellow instrumental plays. All the houses look the same, like subdivision cubicles. Eric's not having any luck.

Back at the Loser Pad, Matt and John argue over which of them "Raven" preferred. Matt mentions that he's not broken up with Shana - they're just free to see other people. The boys squabble and then pray some more. A succubus ascends from hell and rips their heads off. Oh, wait... sigh.

Simon and Mary stare at the phone. WILL THIS TRIPE NEVER END? They begin arguing because Simon thinks Robbie's a "no good scoundrel." Way to utilize the nineteenth century lingo, Simon. Mary ends up yelling at Simon to shut up. He tells her to shut up. She jumps up as if to hit him. He jumps up in his turn. They glare at each other and then Simon looks sad and leaves. Mary sighs and prays out loud that her parents will forgive Robbie. Instead, she should be giving thanks that she and her siblings don't beat the crap out of each other the way me and mine did.

Lucy's sitting on a bench at the Glenoak Promenade, spoon-feeding the twins. A nosy woman sits next to her and smiles at the babies. When Lucy looks up and says hello, the woman gasps in disgust and takes off. Lucy raises her eyebrows. Two more women come over to gawk at the twins. Lucy greets them. One asks her how old the twins are. Lucy says that they had their first birthday on Valentine's. The other woman says, "And how old are you?" all rude and nosy as hell. Lucy amiably tells them she's sixteen. They gasp, shake their heads, and go away. It reminds me of when I was fourteen and I strolled my baby cousin to the neighborhood store. The mannerless women in my neighborhood went so far as to call out, "Is that your baby?" Next a man and a woman show up to stare at the children. The man says, "Cute boys," and then, "You're a little young, aren't you?" Lucy asks, "Young for what?" The wife answers, "To be having babies." Lucy says they're her brothers. The woman looks archly at her companion and says, "Right." Lucy jumps up and explains that she's helping her mom, who has seven children. "Oh, seven, is it? And how many will you have before you realize the error of your ways?" says the snotty old bitch. "I will pray for you, young lady." She and the man walk off. Lucy yells, "Do me a favor: pray for yourself, old bag!" The woman gasps. Everyone stares. Lucy looks around and bellows, "Brothers! They're my baby brothers!" Poor Lucy.

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7th Heaven




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